"Dreams come a size too big so that we can grow into them!"
~Josie Bissett~
Stop - Take a deep breath. The next two minutes we are going to be doing something that might be a bit foreign--RELAXING! (Don't just read this--do it!) Close your eyes and take another deep breath and exhale. Imagine you are breathing in all things good and wonderful and are exhaling all stress and troubles.
Your turn:
Once you are relaxed, take a moment and reflect on this question: 'What dream do you hold in your heart?'
Once you are relaxed, take a moment and reflect on this question: 'What dream do you hold in your heart?'
Your affirmation:
I will reach any dream I set my mind and heart to.
***
Self Improvement Tips
Pump Up The Change Volume
"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
~ Frank Lloyd Wright~
Can you relate to this? You oversleep, which means you don't have time to get ready and your hair doesn't want to cooperate. You have to take your coffee in a to-go cup, which spills in your car on your new pants. Meanwhile, you miss the call and discover a voicemail from your major client who tells you they don't want your product after all. And when you finally get to your meeting, you forgot all your materials at home. This, my friend, is called the power of negative spiral thinking.The good news about that is that where there is down, there is up. That is, there is just as much, if not even more, power in positive thinking. You may not notice it when it's working for you because it feels good. We tend to notice what's not right because we are programmed from our Neanderthal roots to filter out the familiar. And if the familiar means normal, then what is abnormal is what stands out -- in this case, if things run smoothly, we get comfortable and lax about really going for what we want in (or out of!) life.If your life seems to be consistently scenario one, it's time to make a big change. Worse, if your life is routinely smooth and you're bored with it, it's time to pump up the change volume!So, how do you pump up the change? Here are three strategies to help you get started...
1. Check your belief systems. Seriously, do a systems check on what's happening underneath whatever you're thinking right now. If you're thinking that's a silly idea, why do you think that? Isn't your life important enough to take the time to find out what's underneath your thoughts? Because your beliefs influence the thoughts you think, and the thoughts you think create feelings. When you have feelings, you will experience emotions in your body. And when you have emotions, you are likely to act on them. When you have action, you have results. So, follow the formula... Beliefs cause Actions which cause your Results. Think BAR. To get different results, it's time to raise the BAR.
2. Look at your flock. Yes, it's true... the old adage says that birds of a feather flock together. Who are you "flocking" with? Who is in your tribe, chosen or inherited? If you aren't impressed with the five people closest to you in your world for some reason, or if you don't feel like you fit with them anymore, or you don't feel good around them consistently, or you feel like you have to turn down your vibe so they don't feel bad, it's time to get some new feathered friends.
3. Take a tour of where you live. Because though you live there, chances are you aren't seeing your living space like other people do. Remember, we filter out the familiar, so you probably aren't even seeing the broken thing with the scratch on it, sitting on the floor collecting dust. If you have burned out light bulbs, or some appliance that doesn't work, or clothes that don't fit that you never wear, or stacks of magazines from 1972, you have a flow problem. How can you bring in new stuff when you're full to the brim with all that old stuff? How can you show people you're serious about creating success when you aren't even taking care of your living space?You CAN pump up the volume on change, but it takes raising the BAR, having the right people in your life, and making sure your environment reflects your self-esteem. Using positive spiral thinking will pump you up AND create change in your life. Believe in yourself enough to take action TODAY!
Career Tips 101
Do you have a strategic career plan? Do you know where you want to be one year from now? How about 3, 5 and 10 years from now? Now is a great time of year to conduct a "career audit." A career audit is your opportunity to assess how your professional life is going. It allows you to identify what is going well and areas in which you'd like to adjust.
Keep your "more and less" list in a prominent place where you will see it often. Review it each week as you plan the coming week so you can schedule time to focus on these priority goals. (You do strategically plan your weeks in advance, don't you? If not, I recommend putting this helpful habit into practice in 2008.)
Use your career audit to actively manage your career and reach both your short and long-term professional goals. Take the time now to strategically design the rest of your careerso you can truly actualize these wise words from Confucius: "Find work that you love and never work another day in your life."
101 RelationshipTips
1. Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, "You look beautiful," they might hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.
2. Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.
3. The Power Of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!
4. Surprise
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, "I have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight's performance," or "I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert." The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch their heart!
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, "I have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight's performance," or "I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert." The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch their heart!
5. Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is "singles" night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is "singles" night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.
6. No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.
7. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, "Do you like your carrots?", or "I wonder what is on TV tonight?" Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Tell me what you did at work today." Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate's life.
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, "Do you like your carrots?", or "I wonder what is on TV tonight?" Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Tell me what you did at work today." Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate's life.
8. Re-Establish Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.
9. Predictability
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, "I love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, "I love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.
10. Lighten Up
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.
Quote of the Week
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt,
1884-1962, American Humanitarian and Former First Lady of the United States~
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