Today is a very special day for me! At 9:30am EST, I am taking my Citizenship Oath at the Courthouse in Richmond, VA to become a US Citizen!
I am filled with pride, happiness and gratitude! A life-long dream becomes reality!
God Bless America!
"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."
~ Oscar Wilde ~
I am filled with pride, happiness and gratitude! A life-long dream becomes reality!
God Bless America!
"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."
~ Oscar Wilde ~
As many of us make our last minute Christmas preparations, tying ribbons and bows, I thought this Oscar Wilde quote a nice reminder about "real riches." While we give gifts and save gift receipts, let us remember that the best gift we can give doesn't fit in a box ... and it certainly doesn't need a gift receipt. It isn't the opening of the presents or the surprises inside that bring true and lasting joy. It's the moments around the edges, the laughter, the winks, the touch of one person to another. Both sadly and ironically, it is often easier to see what really matters -- when it isn't there to see. Ask a family that has lost someone this past year - and they know for certain what is missing, and they know for certain what matters, and they know for certain it isn't under the tree or tucked carefully in a package wrapped with gold ribbon. We have to learn to see love, and touch love, and make it just as visible as any other icon of the season. Perhaps if it was tangible, if we could see how fragile moments really are, we would be more careful not to drop them.
I always feel that when we lose something, we stand to gain something. Life is balance. In my search to gain, I did something new this year. Instead of opening doors on an advent calendar each day and anticipating a piece of chocolate inside, I opened my eyes to a magical moment each day. It was much more rewarding, and each day brought more than one moment. Of course, I had to open my eyes and choose to see them. Otherwise--I would have only seen another pound on the scale from some chocolates.
Your Turn:
Your Turn:
What can you do today, and every day, to make love visible in your life? Imagine your love carefully contained within a fragile, heirloom glass ornament; imagine love from others in the same way. Handle love carefully, give it freely and treat it for what it is--the greatest gift we will ever have the power to give or receive.
Your affirmation:
Today, I make my love for others visible, realizing it is the only gift that truly matters.
Readers share with Readers
A special 'Thank you' to my Darling Husband James who wanted to share these tips with my Readers!
How to Make Small Talk-Naturally
Have you ever lingered in your car or lurked in the ladies' room or stared intently at the crudités platter - anything rather than (scary music here) talk to people you don't know at a party? Sparkling repartee doesn't come easily to all of us, and the fear of seeming fake or being labeled a bore makes it even harder to click into banter mode.
Or maybe you hate the thought of getting stuck with some blowhard whose conversational agenda boils down to "Hi! Are you as interesting as I am? Nah, I didn't think so." But the thing is, making chitchat lets us create connections of all kinds - it's how we open doors that change our lives. And it's a way to give and receive a little dose of human warmth. Read on for the smart (and angst-free) way to get the words flowing.
STEP 1: Make the first move.
"Initiating the conversation gets your adrenaline pumping, which helps erase your anxiety," explains Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk.
. Choose a person who seems approachable; someone standing by themselves is a good bet, Fine says. Then just look her in the eye, smile, and say, "Hi, I'm Kathy. What's your name?" (That very slight emphasis on "your" will engage her.)As soon as she gives her name, repeat it: "Nice to meet you, Jill." This helps lock her name into your memory - and, just as important, it also creates a bond between you two. If you later find that you've forgotten what to call her, fess up immediately, as in, "Gosh, I'm sorry, can you remind me of your name?" It won't be nearly as tough as you think, and remember: The longer you pretend to know, the more embarrassing it gets to admit you don't.
How to Make Small Talk-Naturally
Have you ever lingered in your car or lurked in the ladies' room or stared intently at the crudités platter - anything rather than (scary music here) talk to people you don't know at a party? Sparkling repartee doesn't come easily to all of us, and the fear of seeming fake or being labeled a bore makes it even harder to click into banter mode.
Or maybe you hate the thought of getting stuck with some blowhard whose conversational agenda boils down to "Hi! Are you as interesting as I am? Nah, I didn't think so." But the thing is, making chitchat lets us create connections of all kinds - it's how we open doors that change our lives. And it's a way to give and receive a little dose of human warmth. Read on for the smart (and angst-free) way to get the words flowing.
STEP 1: Make the first move.
"Initiating the conversation gets your adrenaline pumping, which helps erase your anxiety," explains Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk.
. Choose a person who seems approachable; someone standing by themselves is a good bet, Fine says. Then just look her in the eye, smile, and say, "Hi, I'm Kathy. What's your name?" (That very slight emphasis on "your" will engage her.)As soon as she gives her name, repeat it: "Nice to meet you, Jill." This helps lock her name into your memory - and, just as important, it also creates a bond between you two. If you later find that you've forgotten what to call her, fess up immediately, as in, "Gosh, I'm sorry, can you remind me of your name?" It won't be nearly as tough as you think, and remember: The longer you pretend to know, the more embarrassing it gets to admit you don't.
STEP 2: Start off with what you share.
Your simplest gambit is to inquire about the person's connection to the event. "Something as easy as 'How do you know Mike and Beth?' is a great conversation starter because it's an open-ended question - it can't be answered with one word," notes Fine.Or, try an observation followed by a question: "This restaurant sure does great birthday parties. Ever been here before?" And since flattery usually does get you somewhere, you could give a compliment followed by a question: "The baby carrier you gave Marla is cool. Where'd you find it?"
Your simplest gambit is to inquire about the person's connection to the event. "Something as easy as 'How do you know Mike and Beth?' is a great conversation starter because it's an open-ended question - it can't be answered with one word," notes Fine.Or, try an observation followed by a question: "This restaurant sure does great birthday parties. Ever been here before?" And since flattery usually does get you somewhere, you could give a compliment followed by a question: "The baby carrier you gave Marla is cool. Where'd you find it?"
STEP 3: Play detective.
Let's say you opened with, "How are you doing with all this rain?" To move from this surface chitchat to a deeper dialogue, listen for any word in the other person's reply that might suggest a conversational direction, advises Leil Lowndes, author of Goodbye to Shy. A few examples:HER: "Oh, I don't mind the rain. It's good for the plants."YOU: "Are you a gardener?"HER: "If I wanted this much rain, I'd live in Seattle!"YOU: "Have you been to Seattle?"HER: "I haven't been able to take the dog on a decent walk in a week."YOU: "I have a miniature dachshund named Beau. Tell me about your dog."
Let's say you opened with, "How are you doing with all this rain?" To move from this surface chitchat to a deeper dialogue, listen for any word in the other person's reply that might suggest a conversational direction, advises Leil Lowndes, author of Goodbye to Shy. A few examples:HER: "Oh, I don't mind the rain. It's good for the plants."YOU: "Are you a gardener?"HER: "If I wanted this much rain, I'd live in Seattle!"YOU: "Have you been to Seattle?"HER: "I haven't been able to take the dog on a decent walk in a week."YOU: "I have a miniature dachshund named Beau. Tell me about your dog."
STEP 4: Open up - within limits.
Don't keep firing out questions, says Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room; people will feel like they're being interrogated. Rather, reveal some information about yourself while respecting the comfort level of a new acquaintance. "I'm fine - considering that my husband walked out on me last week" is probably a little too much information. Ditto for "No drink for me. I'm on antibiotics for a yeast infection." Health (yours or theirs), money, religion, and politics are all bad bets.On the other hand, just about anything you find curious or interesting probably will work to keep things rolling. Fine was on her way to a large dinner when she heard a radio story about a survey that asked people to choose between two superpowers: Would they rather fly or have the power to turn invisible? "I brought it up during the first awkward silence at my table," she recalls, "and just as in the study, men preferred flight, women invisibility. But the main thing was, all my tablemates started chattering like magpies."
Don't keep firing out questions, says Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room; people will feel like they're being interrogated. Rather, reveal some information about yourself while respecting the comfort level of a new acquaintance. "I'm fine - considering that my husband walked out on me last week" is probably a little too much information. Ditto for "No drink for me. I'm on antibiotics for a yeast infection." Health (yours or theirs), money, religion, and politics are all bad bets.On the other hand, just about anything you find curious or interesting probably will work to keep things rolling. Fine was on her way to a large dinner when she heard a radio story about a survey that asked people to choose between two superpowers: Would they rather fly or have the power to turn invisible? "I brought it up during the first awkward silence at my table," she recalls, "and just as in the study, men preferred flight, women invisibility. But the main thing was, all my tablemates started chattering like magpies."
STEP 5: Listen out loud.
Visual cues that you're listening, such as eye contact and nodding, are not enough to communicate enthusiasm. Use verbal cues ("Uh-huh, mmm-hmm," or "Oh, you're kidding! She didn't!") to let the person know you're paying attention. The more positive feedback you give, the more others will enjoy speaking to you. Put your heart into it, and you'll be amazed at how a little "small talk" can quickly lead to a big connection.
4 Ways to Ditch a Windbag
Ever hesitate to begin a conversation because you fear you'll never be able to end it? Motivational speaker Debra Fine suggests these graceful ways to get the heck out of Dodge:Give Warning
"I want to hear about your cruise, but I also want to be sure to talk to Jenna before she leaves."If the conversation shows no sign of winding down, let the person know your time is running out.Show Appreciation
"I'm so glad to have heard about your trip - you've inspired me to plan my next vacation. Nice talking to you."You'll feel less guilty about closing the conversation if you say something positive. And the chatterbox will be more gracious about letting you go if you pave the way with some flattery.Explain Your Next Move
"I need to go to the ladies' room/call my babysitter/catch Jenna."Just make sure you do what you say, warns Fine. Don't let the person see you were just making an excuse!Play Host
"Come with me - I'd like to introduce you to Jenna/hit the bar/meet the guest of honor."Whether your conversational partner agrees to join you or not, this tactic makes her feel included - even as you're giving her the slip.
For more in depth tips, dowload your FREE E-Book
here:
http://www.lulu.com/content/929137
Visual cues that you're listening, such as eye contact and nodding, are not enough to communicate enthusiasm. Use verbal cues ("Uh-huh, mmm-hmm," or "Oh, you're kidding! She didn't!") to let the person know you're paying attention. The more positive feedback you give, the more others will enjoy speaking to you. Put your heart into it, and you'll be amazed at how a little "small talk" can quickly lead to a big connection.
4 Ways to Ditch a Windbag
Ever hesitate to begin a conversation because you fear you'll never be able to end it? Motivational speaker Debra Fine suggests these graceful ways to get the heck out of Dodge:Give Warning
"I want to hear about your cruise, but I also want to be sure to talk to Jenna before she leaves."If the conversation shows no sign of winding down, let the person know your time is running out.Show Appreciation
"I'm so glad to have heard about your trip - you've inspired me to plan my next vacation. Nice talking to you."You'll feel less guilty about closing the conversation if you say something positive. And the chatterbox will be more gracious about letting you go if you pave the way with some flattery.Explain Your Next Move
"I need to go to the ladies' room/call my babysitter/catch Jenna."Just make sure you do what you say, warns Fine. Don't let the person see you were just making an excuse!Play Host
"Come with me - I'd like to introduce you to Jenna/hit the bar/meet the guest of honor."Whether your conversational partner agrees to join you or not, this tactic makes her feel included - even as you're giving her the slip.
For more in depth tips, dowload your FREE E-Book
here:
http://www.lulu.com/content/929137
Life Improvement Tips
Success is Like Riding a Bicycle
Okay, a show of hands, please!How many of you learned to ride a bicycle as a child?Hey, that's quite a lot of you.Now, close your eyes and remember what it felt like to ride a bicycle for the first time. Maybe yours had training wheels that helped to balance the bike as you gained confidence riding on the sidewalk in front of your house. As your confidence expanded, and also from observing the older children in the neighborhood riding without any assistance, you then graduated to your first test without training wheels. It was scary!At the beginning came the wobbling of the tires and excited, hurried pedaling as you struggled to break free of your parent's or older sibling's guiding hand for balance. And, perhaps there were one or two falls along the way! However, through your determination, willpower, desire, and continued practice, you soon sped forward on your own.As you grew in size and age, you moved up to bigger and more complex bicycles and mastered them all. Some of you even learned to ride without holding onto the handlebars or perhaps did "daredevil" tricks jumping over ramps like Evel Knievel.And, I'll bet now that even if you haven't ridden a bicycle in years, you could still do it.Now, let's take a look at success. For many people, success or being successful is just as scary as the first time they rode a bicycle. Naturally, many people want to be successful. However, there are few that truly have the motivation to put forward the needed effort and action and make the necessary sacrifices to get what they want. Here are four of my success strategies. Make them part of your "quest for success."1) Just as you did when you learned to ride a bicycle, here is only one way to accomplish anything today -- set your mind to concentrate on doing it and let nothing interfere with your progress. Obstacles, whether they be training wheels on a bike or lack of resources (money, time, lack of skill, etc.), are quickly overcome by the person who sets out to accomplish their heart's desire. Those who have the desire, "the fire in the belly" so to speak, will outdistance and outperform those who do not.2) No matter what anyone says, "Size does matter." When you first learned to ride a bike, you were a child. As you grew to adulthood, of course, you were faced with greater and more challenging situations. On your road to success, remember this quote from my Success System book, "The Power of Concentration: How to Take Control of Your Life"..."The 'bigger' you are, the smaller the obstacle appears. The 'smaller' you are, the greater the obstacle appears."Always look at the advantage you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed "size" and courage for the conquest -- now and in the future. 3) Do not expect that you will always have a smooth road, free of potholes, speed bumps, and detours. Parts of your journey are likely to be rough. The way you navigate the bad roads shows exactly what you are made of. Keep on with your journey and view with delight the smooth roads that are in front of you.4) Do not let a setback stop you. Just like when you skinned your knees and elbows learning to ride, think of it as a mere incident that has to be overcome before you can reach your goal. Learn from it and use the lesson to move ahead.Success IS like riding a bicycle. Learn my strategies of success outlined above, and you will ALWAYS be up to the challenge -- regardless of the size.
~ K.Shaw~
Okay, a show of hands, please!How many of you learned to ride a bicycle as a child?Hey, that's quite a lot of you.Now, close your eyes and remember what it felt like to ride a bicycle for the first time. Maybe yours had training wheels that helped to balance the bike as you gained confidence riding on the sidewalk in front of your house. As your confidence expanded, and also from observing the older children in the neighborhood riding without any assistance, you then graduated to your first test without training wheels. It was scary!At the beginning came the wobbling of the tires and excited, hurried pedaling as you struggled to break free of your parent's or older sibling's guiding hand for balance. And, perhaps there were one or two falls along the way! However, through your determination, willpower, desire, and continued practice, you soon sped forward on your own.As you grew in size and age, you moved up to bigger and more complex bicycles and mastered them all. Some of you even learned to ride without holding onto the handlebars or perhaps did "daredevil" tricks jumping over ramps like Evel Knievel.And, I'll bet now that even if you haven't ridden a bicycle in years, you could still do it.Now, let's take a look at success. For many people, success or being successful is just as scary as the first time they rode a bicycle. Naturally, many people want to be successful. However, there are few that truly have the motivation to put forward the needed effort and action and make the necessary sacrifices to get what they want. Here are four of my success strategies. Make them part of your "quest for success."1) Just as you did when you learned to ride a bicycle, here is only one way to accomplish anything today -- set your mind to concentrate on doing it and let nothing interfere with your progress. Obstacles, whether they be training wheels on a bike or lack of resources (money, time, lack of skill, etc.), are quickly overcome by the person who sets out to accomplish their heart's desire. Those who have the desire, "the fire in the belly" so to speak, will outdistance and outperform those who do not.2) No matter what anyone says, "Size does matter." When you first learned to ride a bike, you were a child. As you grew to adulthood, of course, you were faced with greater and more challenging situations. On your road to success, remember this quote from my Success System book, "The Power of Concentration: How to Take Control of Your Life"..."The 'bigger' you are, the smaller the obstacle appears. The 'smaller' you are, the greater the obstacle appears."Always look at the advantage you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed "size" and courage for the conquest -- now and in the future. 3) Do not expect that you will always have a smooth road, free of potholes, speed bumps, and detours. Parts of your journey are likely to be rough. The way you navigate the bad roads shows exactly what you are made of. Keep on with your journey and view with delight the smooth roads that are in front of you.4) Do not let a setback stop you. Just like when you skinned your knees and elbows learning to ride, think of it as a mere incident that has to be overcome before you can reach your goal. Learn from it and use the lesson to move ahead.Success IS like riding a bicycle. Learn my strategies of success outlined above, and you will ALWAYS be up to the challenge -- regardless of the size.
~ K.Shaw~
Know What You Want To Get Ahead (Step Three)
You've probably heard the famous Albert Einstein quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." This adage is particularly applicable to the world of work.
You've probably heard the famous Albert Einstein quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." This adage is particularly applicable to the world of work.
Many people get stuck in jobs just because it's "what they've always done." Or, they get tagged with "dog" assignments simply because they involve skills set they've demonstrated in the past. Furthermore, too many clients get trapped in a career rut by settling for what happens to be offered to them.
The clients who hire me want to change these negative patterns. They want to proactively manage their career instead of taking what's given.
When I ask my clients: "What do you want to do?" I'm usually met with deafening silence. Many, if not most, people really just don't know what career will make them happy.
It certainly can feel overwhelming to answer the "What do you want to do with your life?" question. My 12-part program-"Discover Your Authentic Career Fit"-breaks the process down into simply organized and manageable action steps. One of the key steps in this process is getting clear on what you don't want.Know What You Don't Want
To make sure you don't end up in yet another job that is the wrong fit, you must define what you don't want at work.
This week, let's cover the people with whom you work. Ask yourself these three simple questions:
· What don't I enjoy about the people at my current workplace?
· What didn't I like about the people at past places of employment?
· In what way(s) would I like the people to be different at my next place of work? For example, am I looking for a group of people who are:
o Friendlier?
o More professional and dedicated?
o More family-oriented?
Schedule time in your calendar to answer these questions in the next seven days. That way, you'll be sure to get it done and not let it linger on that never-ending to do list. Next week, we'll focus on the next phase of defining what you don't want in your next job: Your individual work style.
I wish you much continued success as you move towards defining and working in your authentic career fit!
It's now December and the holidays are currently upon us. All you see are Christmas decorations in the stores and holiday commercials of happy families celebrating mostly Christmas and New Years Eve. Because you are single and not even in a significant relationship, this can be a tough time of year for you, especially if you desire to be a part of a couple and have a family of your own. The feelings that come up range from loneliness to dread to jealousy of your friends and family who seem to have it all!
What's a single guy or gal to do? Today's dating advice for women and men includes the results of a survey I conducted with my friends and clients, where I found five different strategies that make the holiday season a happy and productive time of year. The first strategy includes:
1. Take a trip and get out of town!
My girlfriend takes a cruise in the Caribbean during Christmas week through New Years Day. There are also singles ski trips, Club Med and such. Another option is to find a buddy and go away to the destination of your choosing. Not only are you taking a vacation, but you never know who you will meet on your adventure!
2. Seek out singles events and gatherings.
There are many singles parties on New Years Eve in every major City. It's a great time to meet people because everyone is open and festive. No one wants to be alone on New Years Eve. You can also create your own party for friends.
Each year, I organize a mostly singles dinner for my friends on Christmas day. It's sometimes easier not to deal with the couple or family thing - especially if there are married couples with kids. Most of my singles friends yearn to have a family. I also know my single friends are uncomfortable with witnessing the public display of affection sometimes demonstrated by couples. So it's just easier to hang out with other singles.
As you can see, the holidays can be a great time to make the most of being single! From shopping for yourself, earning extra cash, taking a vacation, and more, the holidays can be a great time to treat yourself when others may not be able to!
Each year, I organize a mostly singles dinner for my friends on Christmas day. It's sometimes easier not to deal with the couple or family thing - especially if there are married couples with kids. Most of my singles friends yearn to have a family. I also know my single friends are uncomfortable with witnessing the public display of affection sometimes demonstrated by couples. So it's just easier to hang out with other singles.
As you can see, the holidays can be a great time to make the most of being single! From shopping for yourself, earning extra cash, taking a vacation, and more, the holidays can be a great time to treat yourself when others may not be able to!
3. Earn overtime pay by working!
Most people want to take off during the holidays. Who is going to hold down the fort? I have a friend who works in radio. She covers the holiday shift so others can be with their families. I also know someone who helps out in a restaurant once a year to help out a friend who is short-handed. You help others and make some extra pocket change- it's a win-win!
Strategically planning the upcoming holidays helps you feel less lonely and depressed during the holidays and makes this time of year more enjoyable for you!
Strategically planning the upcoming holidays helps you feel less lonely and depressed during the holidays and makes this time of year more enjoyable for you!
4. Go out and do the stuff you love!
Another dating tips for men and women include going to the gym- it's usually open part of the day (closes early on Christmas Eve and closed Christmas Day). Also, you can go shopping and take advantage of the sales late Christmas Eve or New Years Day. Buy yourself the items you really wanted for yourself. Go see the movie that you are dying to see. Go to a museum exhibit you haven't been able to visit. You don't have to worry about anyone holding you back. Also, many Churches and Synagogues have volunteer programs on Christmas Day.
5.Stay home and catch up on paperwork!
5.Stay home and catch up on paperwork!
What a great time to get your taxes in order! You can also spend your time at home searching the internet dating sites for your true love. Besides, it's just another day in the year. It will be over before you know it and you will get a jump on next year!
A word of caution to help prevent tough relationship issues: Starting in November, beware of falling into a false, convenient relationship. Here you find yourself in a precarious relationship that's somewhat comfortable (and clearly not the one) that can carry you through the cold, dark months of winter. This is the hardest time of the year to be single. It seems as though we are sometimes playing musical chairs and that by late November, whomever you were dating, you attach yourself to this person and settle into a relationship for the time being.When I was single, I unconsciously found myself in relationships by late Fall so that I would have someone to be with me during the holidays. And with my birthday in January and subsequently the dreaded Valentine's Day in February, I was then in a position to get the attention and the gifts I truly desired! Funny how by March or April the relationship broke up and I was out in the dating world again as spring blossomed.So you get to choose. How do you want to spend the holidays? Only you know what feels right for you. Perhaps you want to try something new this year. It's time to make your plans now so you are not left out in the cold!
~ Amy ~
A word of caution to help prevent tough relationship issues: Starting in November, beware of falling into a false, convenient relationship. Here you find yourself in a precarious relationship that's somewhat comfortable (and clearly not the one) that can carry you through the cold, dark months of winter. This is the hardest time of the year to be single. It seems as though we are sometimes playing musical chairs and that by late November, whomever you were dating, you attach yourself to this person and settle into a relationship for the time being.When I was single, I unconsciously found myself in relationships by late Fall so that I would have someone to be with me during the holidays. And with my birthday in January and subsequently the dreaded Valentine's Day in February, I was then in a position to get the attention and the gifts I truly desired! Funny how by March or April the relationship broke up and I was out in the dating world again as spring blossomed.So you get to choose. How do you want to spend the holidays? Only you know what feels right for you. Perhaps you want to try something new this year. It's time to make your plans now so you are not left out in the cold!
~ Amy ~
