"You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, and show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better, You're gonna find, yes you will, That you're beautiful as you feel!"
~Carole King~
How right Carole is! When we wake up, determined to show the world the love in our heart, we feel better. We also attract more positive things to us.
Your turn:
On the top of your to-do list for today, make a small heart. Whenever you see this heart, let it remind you to do as Carole suggests and "show the world all the love in your heart."
On the top of your to-do list for today, make a small heart. Whenever you see this heart, let it remind you to do as Carole suggests and "show the world all the love in your heart."
Your affirmation:
Today, I will show the world all the love in my heart.
By this time, most people have already forgotten or backtracked on their New Year's resolutions. Why? Because most people set dreamy goals without first assessing their current reality and deciding exactly what they need to change in their life in order to get where they want to go. There's a law in life that says, "No Clarity, No Change." It means that if you're not completely clear about where you are today, there's no way you'll ever change to get where you want to go.With that in mind, and with the dawn of the New Year now past us, I wanted to share with you what I call the "8 Transformation Truths." I often use these with my coaching clients, and I believe these Truths will help you set goals and take stock of your life. I call these statements "transformation truths" because, if internalized and acted upon, they can dramatically change your life. These transformation truths formed the psychological journey I took the main character on in my book "Life's Golden Ticket." Take time to read and consider these eight straightforward statements. Be honest. Think about tomorrow. Go from making New Year's resolutions to creating a new reality.
Transformation Truth #1: Either you are truly moving forward or you aren't.We were all born to move forward: to crawl, to walk, to run, to grow, to push ourselves diligently toward our destinies and dreams. Unfortunately, many of us have let our fears and the need for safety weigh us down. We've stopped taking the leaps and bounds and chances needed to get us closer to the life we desire. Tragically, too many of us have settled into jobs that lead nowhere, relationships that sink our spirits, and habits that hold us back. To prevent that or become more focused, ask yourself these simple questions on a regular basis: Have I been charging ahead in life, standing still, or falling behind? Am I truly moving forward toward my dreams, or am I simply conning myself into believing that I'm just "waiting for the right time to make my move"? What do I need to do today to boldly start moving forward?
Transformation Truth #2: Either you're doing work you truly enjoy or you aren't.Most of us know that our life's purpose is more than just a paycheck, and that a life of meaning is not limited to a life of means. Yet many of us suffer the self-imposed misery of doing unfulfilling work simply to make ends meet. Is what you are doing something that you whole-heartedly enjoy? Do you get happily lost in your work on a regular basis and feel like you're truly growing, contributing, and making a difference? If you cannot answer with a resounding "Yes!" to these questions, then you already know it's time for a change. It's time to face that and take action.
Transformation Truth #3: Either you are truly being yourself or you aren't.Each day we have a choice: Will I live authentically or adapt to the world around us? When we choose to be authentic, we show the world our raw, unpainted, genuine self. We act in accordance with our convictions, and we openly share our personality and passions with other people. Living like this makes us feel alive, connected, and "real." Unfortunately, many of us choose instead to adapt to the world the way a chameleon does, changing our true colors in order to blend in. Living like this makes us feel hollow and disconnected. It makes us avoid ourselves in the mirror and creates a repeating whimper in our minds: "Please stop acting this way; it's not the real you, and there's someone special in here waiting to be let out." How are you living your life -- are you showing the world who you really are, or are you putting on a facade in order to fit in and be accepted? Your answer probably says a lot about how you feel on a regular basis.
Transformation Truth #4: Either your relationships are truly supporting you or they aren't.The quality of our lives is shaped by the quality of our relationships. Indeed, the people in our lives who treat us with kindness, respect, honesty, and understanding have the ability to lift us to our highest heights. On the flip side, those who mistreat us, disrespect us, lie to us, neglect us, or abuse us often have the power to pull us down into the depths of despair. Think about the people surrounding you: your family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, romantic interest. Are any of these people holding you back from being your best? Are any of them making you feel small, stupid, unworthy, unloved, or uncared for? If so, who are they? Now the important part: Why in the world are you allowing these people in your life, and what are you doing right now to surround yourself with supportive and inspiring people?
Transformation Truth #5: Either you truly believe in yourself or you don't.It turns out that sometimes the most toxic relationship we ever get into is the one with ourselves. We beat ourselves up, call ourselves names, point out our faults, and question our own worthiness of love and happiness. On the other hand, our relationship with ourselves can be healthier and friendlier. We can take pride in our efforts and achievements, acknowledge our strengths, and reaffirm that we are worthy of a good life. So what kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Are the thoughts playing in your head hurtful or helpful? Are you lifting yourself or tearing yourself down, and what is the result in your life?
Transformation Truth #6: Either you're truly fit and vibrant or you're not. The diet industry booms this time of year, only to leave in its wake millions of unhealthy and unhappy people. Why? Because true health and vibrancy doesn't depend on food alone. We all know that, but most of us aren't as physically fit and vibrant as we want to be. Do you have as much energy as you'd like to have throughout the day? Are the food and proportions you're consuming helping you feel light and fueled, or heavy and wasted? Are you exercising several times a week? If you haven't felt truly alive in some time, it probably has more to do with your physical conditioning and the amount of food on your plate than on how busy you are or how much you have on your plate at work. Make today the day you rededicate yourself to living a fit, vibrant, and healthy life.
Transformation Truth #7: Either you're building wealth or you're depleting it. Most of us have a one-sided love affair with money -- we take and spend, but we don't give and save. The majority of us also believe that there's not enough abundance in the world, that we're only worth so much, and can only earn a given amount each year. Are you making as much money as you would like to right now? Why not? Are you adding enough value at work? Have you been differentiating yourself, coming up with new clients or products or services, seeking mentors who can help you climb higher? Are you putting more away than you spend? If not, why? We all know the advice: earn, spend little, save lots, plan for the long haul. This is a great time to check yourself -- and your checkbook. It's time to set some higher financial goals in your life -- so you can take care of yourself and others -- and to create a plan for a more profitable year.
Transformation Truth #8: Either you're truly stepping up or you're backing down.How are you facing life's challenges? Are you hiding under the sheets or seizing the day? Are you running away from your fears or charging at them head-on? Are you avoiding your problems or knocking them off one by one? Those that dramatically transform their lives refuse to shrink from anyone or anything. They choose to stand up and speak up in life even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do.
How about you?
Are you choosing to stand up or back down?
Are you making your presence known?
Have you shared your thoughts and feelings and declared what you want in life?
Have you fought for your dreams and done it consistently enough to create the life you've always wanted?
I hope these Truths help you assess where you are today and where you need to go. I also hope you always find the strength to face your life, to boldly walk up to the gates of possibility, ticket ready in hand, willing to claim the life you've always deserved.
***
Career Tips 101
Create Your Professional Success Stories - Part Three
To get started with your first success story, simply begin to brainstorm. Do not edit as you go. Just write your thoughts down on paper or type them up on your computer.
Think through each job you've held. This can include both professional positions and part-time jobs you held before you launched your career. If you have children, include motherhood as well since this is the hardest job on earth. Also feel free to incorporate any volunteer roles you've held.
Think through each job you've held. This can include both professional positions and part-time jobs you held before you launched your career. If you have children, include motherhood as well since this is the hardest job on earth. Also feel free to incorporate any volunteer roles you've held.
Here are some questions to get you started. Think about each job you've held and answer these questions to help get your thought process going:
What did I enjoy about this position?
What assignments did I like working on?
What assignments were easy for me to accomplish?
What projects gave me the most satisfaction?
When did I have the most fun at this job?
What types of projects elicited the most compliments from managersand clients?
What were my accomplishments at this position?
What results did I produce?
What outcomes did I affect during my time in this position?
What assignments did I like working on?
What assignments were easy for me to accomplish?
What projects gave me the most satisfaction?
When did I have the most fun at this job?
What types of projects elicited the most compliments from managersand clients?
What were my accomplishments at this position?
What results did I produce?
What outcomes did I affect during my time in this position?
***
Relationships 101
101 Relationship Tips (Part 3)
21. Make The Men Feel Good
For the man in your life, here are some recommendations for making him feel special:
Flirt with him in public places
Just once, leave the toilet lid up
Lavish him with compliments
Tell him how sexy he is
Act jealous once in awhile, even if you are not
Remind him that he is a wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies
Tell him how handsome you find him
22. Make The Women Feel Good
Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These recommendations might help:
Tell her how beautiful she is
Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
Just once, leave the toilet seat down
Tell her how much she means to you
Let her know that she is your best friend
Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
Let her know that you find her to be sexy
Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These recommendations might help:
Tell her how beautiful she is
Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
Just once, leave the toilet seat down
Tell her how much she means to you
Let her know that she is your best friend
Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
Let her know that you find her to be sexy
23. That Kiss
As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving, sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.
As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving, sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.
24. Be Kind To One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to "Do unto others -" Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person's situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to "Do unto others -" Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person's situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.
25. Special Hobby
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture. Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night away. This is a great way to make your relationship even stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture. Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night away. This is a great way to make your relationship even stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.
26. Listen - Really Listen
Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.
Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.
27. Be A Kid
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the Play Station, and play games.
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the Play Station, and play games.
28. All Decked Out
Although most people do not get dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will never forget.
Although most people do not get dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will never forget.
29. Showing Love
Although hearing the words, "I love you" is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished:
Rent his favorite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
When she gets out of the shower, hand her a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, "I Love You" on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over.
While she is out of town, wash her car and surprise her by picking her up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.
Take him out to lunch.
Have his favorite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper.
Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
Display your favorite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator.
Buy her a subscription to her favorite magazine.
Although hearing the words, "I love you" is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished:
Rent his favorite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
When she gets out of the shower, hand her a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, "I Love You" on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over.
While she is out of town, wash her car and surprise her by picking her up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.
Take him out to lunch.
Have his favorite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper.
Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
Display your favorite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator.
Buy her a subscription to her favorite magazine.
30. Split The Responsibility
Whether dating or married, weekends are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a special lunch or snacks. Perhaps one of you has company coming and the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really care by sacrificing your time.
Whether dating or married, weekends are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a special lunch or snacks. Perhaps one of you has company coming and the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really care by sacrificing your time.
