I hope you spent the beginning of the new exciting Year surrounded of your loved ones! I celebrated my 1st New Year as an American Citizen ( I got my Citizenship on December 19th, 2007!)
I am greatful for my wonderful Family, Friends, Colleagues, Clients and Athletes that add many amazing moments and little miracles to my rich life.
I wanted to thank you all for making a difference in my life!
God Bless America!
"And what are you prepared to do?"
~ Sean Connery, The Untouchables~
Here it is in all its glory - 2008 - 366 days, 8784 hours, waiting for your exploration. There is no denying that the world changes dramatically over 12 months (often it changes dramatically overnight)!
When you stand in this space a year from now, what will you be saying as you reflect on 2008? We have explored ambitions, goals, challenges, dreams and resolutions. Now, at the beginning of January, let's each take a moment to answer this great movie quote:
"What are we prepared to do?"
Let the action begin! 2008 is here, let there be no delay, pursue the life you have imagined with abundance.
Your Turn:
Your affirmation:
I am ready and prepared and greet 2008 with enthusiastic expectations!
Readers share with Readers
Today, I would like to share some of my favorite Holiday Grand-Children Pictures with you. I am a proud Grama of Nick (7), Drew (who celebrates his 4th birthday TODAY!) and Owen (9 months)
Nick (7) and Drew (Happy 4th Birthday!) Bohannan
Owen Collin Shull (9 months)
For more pictures, visit my Blogspot at:
http://nymanmygrandchildren.blogspot.com/
Life Improvement Tips
You Want to Succeed? - Get Uncomfortable.
As an Exercise Scientist and Trainer I have spent much of the last twenty-five years helping people change their body. Smaller, bigger, lighter, leaner, more muscle, more flexibility, speed, power... Athletes, non-athletes, kids, mums, dads.....whatever they were after; that's what I did my best to deliver.Early in my career I discovered that whether or not someone achieved their desired goals had very little to do with what was possible, or their genetic potential, and everything to do with their ability to deal with discomfort.They say that every decision we make in life is in an effort to avoid pain, or gain pleasure.We choose to eat the cake because we associate cake with pleasure.We choose to avoid the dentist because we associate the dentist with pain.We choose to stay in a bad relationship because we associate more pain with getting out of the relationship than staying in it.But the reality is :1) we don't need the cake2) we do need the dentist and3) we should get out of that destructive relationship.If only we would give up the cake, look after our teeth and deal with our relationship (i.e. get uncomfortable) we would discover that the short-term pain/discomfort would make way for a whole new world of possibilities and a whole new level of growth, understanding and achievement.Some personal-power muscles.Lesson 1. Change is usually uncomfortable.If you want an amazing life and you're all about creating positive change, then learn to deal with, if not embrace, discomfort.Sorry Dude.Just how it is.In the science of strength training we talk about a concept called progressive resistance training or progressive overload.In simple terms, the theory is this: If you want to get stronger and continue to grow muscle (hypertrophy) you need to continually manipulate the training variables (weight, sets, reps, recovery time, technique, program design) so as to constantly and progressively 'force' your body to adapt to the ever-changing stress (all exercise is a form of stress).When we talk about changing a body, we're talking about physiological adaptation... and a body will only adapt when it has a reason to. Most people in most gyms train their body in a manner where there is no need for adaptation... that's why they typically look the same, year in, year out.Or worse.Rather than following a program or plan which is progressive in nature (causes them to get uncomfortable on a regular basis) they follow a 'maintenance program'... because it's easy and comfortable.And they love 'comfortable.'They don't want to maintain, or intend to maintain... but that's all they're doing.They will continue on their cycle of frustration and zero results until they give their body a reason to adapt or until they throw in the towel altogether.This adaptation/growth principle of exercise science can be applied to life and to our personal growth.Lesson 2.In general, a person's ability to succeed will be largely dependant on their ability to adapt (deal with discomfort and change).Life, relationships, careers, emotions, business markets, technologies, philosophies, environments are all in a constant state of evolution. This is part of the problem; we are creatures of habit and we like familiarity; we like 'same'.Lesson 3.We like the benefits of change, but we don't like the process. But it's the process, not the results, from where the real benefits come.Whether it's physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, professional, social or financial growth your after.... be prepared to get uncomfortable on a regular basis and you will dramatically improve your chances of creating your best life.By the way, the minute you make that uncomfortable decision, or do that uncomfortable thing you've been avoiding, the change process becomes instantly easier and your chances of success go through the roof ... because you got your head and heart (thinking, attitude, standards, emotions) where they need to be.And you did what you needed to do.Just like we work against resistance in the gym and we get stronger and grow muscle, those of us who work against resistance outside of the gym (problems, challenges, opposition, criticism, self doubt, insecurity, fear) get stronger and grow a different kind of muscle; emotional muscle, psychological muscle, self-control muscle, personal development muscle and spiritual muscle... and more.Now go and get uncomfortable-and grow some muscle!
Career Tips
Know What You Want To Get Ahead (Step Four)
You've probably heard the famous Albert Einstein quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." This adage is particularly applicable to the world of work.
Many people get stuck in jobs just because it's "what they've always done." Or, they get tagged with "dog" assignments simply because they involve skills set they've demonstrated in the past. Furthermore, too many clients get trapped in a career rut by settling for what happens to be offered to them.
The clients who hire me want to change these negative patterns. They want to proactively manage their career instead of taking what's given.
When I ask my clients: "What do you want to do?" I'm usually met with deafening silence. Many, if not most, people really just don't know what career will make them happy.
It certainly can feel overwhelming to answer the "What do you want to do with your life?" question. One of the key steps in this process is getting clear on what you don't want.
Know What You Don't Want
To make sure you don't end up in yet another job that is the wrong fit, you must define what you don't want at work.
This week, let's discuss your individual work style. Ask yourself this simple question:
How does my current job not support my individual work style?
For example:
· Do I want more team projects?
· Do I want more independent work assignments?
· Do I want more time for creative thought?
· Do I want more variety or less multi-tasking?
Schedule time in your calendar to answer these questions in the next seven days. That way, you'll be sure to get it done and not let it linger on that never-ending to do list.
I wish you much continued success as you move towards defining and working in your authentic career fit!
Relationship 101
25 tips for relationship success
What's the key to successful relationships? Here, I reveal the simple things you need to know to deepen your partnership and make your relationship work
1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.
7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.
9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.
10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet.
12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. For extra help, read the book, Stop Arguing Start Talking by Susan Quilliam.
19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher
21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.
22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.
23. Realize that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.
24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.
25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one.
Quote of the Week
"All of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."
~ Dale Carnegie ~
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