"Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."
~ Anonymous ~
How often do you spend time comparing yourself to others? Perhaps measuring your success, health, will power, determination, wealth, beauty? Let me ask you this - what good can that possibly do? We cannot know the exact circumstances of another. We cannot understand their shoes for we have not walked in them. And at the end of the day, "No one in the entire word can do a better job of being you than you."
I do not compare myself to others. There is a beauty and uniqueness that only I can offer the world!
Life Improvement Tips
How To Eliminate Your Self-Doubt
Are these familiar dialogues for you: "I don't have the nerve to try that!" or "that's too risky!" or "I'm not sure I can do that" etc? Are you one of those people who always doubt your own ability? Well, you're not alone. A lot of people do not have confidence in themselves. Every change in the normal way of life gets a ton of introspection and most of the time, self-doubt wins and not trying seems safer. However, safe doesn't always mean best; sooner or later you'll get depressed always being stuck on a rut. You have to reduce these self-doubts in order to move ahead.
It will help if you can figure out why you feel wimpy all the time. Is it because of a past mistake that crippled you so much? Are you afraid to end up like someone you knew who took too much risk? Were you told often by authority figures - parents, sibling, teachers or officers - that you don't and can't amount to anything? You've probably heard it so often that you believed it as the universal truth all the time.
Deep down you know it's not true, right? Not all risks will result into failure and you can avoid making the same mistake your friend did. Silence the inner critic in you then. You don't have to listen to past criticisms. Nor should you judge all your other abilities based on a single failure. Instead draw on your strengths and keep them in mind. Granted, it's not going to be easy. But you can take baby steps and not leap into anything that you're not ready for.
Start by cataloging your positives. Take out a sheet of paper and list the things that you know you can do. Fill it up from the whimsical - able to juggle four balls in the air, for example - to the downright great ones like a good grasp of grammar. Look back and try to remember how you learned those skills. Some of them were probably inherited or something that you learned instinctively. But the rest were skills that you got only thru experience. Therefore, you must have tried it before and found out that you can do it. That list becomes physical proof that you are someone who can do something and by the same token, can do a lot more if you can just get out of your safety zone and try something new again.
Banish those self-doubts and see how high you can fly.
Right now. I mean it.
Why are you still here?
~ Jeff ~
Career Tips
Don't Lose Your Job After An Argument With Your Boss!
Arthur is known for being a temperamental person. One day, his impulses failed to save him. He got involved in a heated and intense argument with none other than his boss.
The situation was so flaringly intense. Everyone in the office fell mum and shocked. Many opted to pretend that they did not to hear and see anything, although majority of them had their ears glued to the door and heard the exchange of hot and flaming words between a superior and a subordinate.
Situations like these are sometimes unavoidable and come even if people never like these to happen. These incidents do happen, even under all unfavorable and awkward circumstances.
For the subordinate, the next problem now is how to fix the mess. Arguments and strained relationships with the boss are some of the most disturbing yet preventable situations confronting most employees and subordinates.
In the normal and conventional corporate setting, most employees go to the extent of kissing their boss' ass just to earn good favor and ratings from the boss.
When things happen, the usual and logical question to ask himself or herself would be, "How do I get out of this mess?"
Things are really screwed up when you get into an argument or disagreement with your boss. This can put your job at risk.
Understandably, it is hard to lose a job nowadays. The cost of living is always on the rise and you have bills to pay on a regular basis. Yearly, millions of younger and brighter new graduates are competing in the ever declining and narrowing job market.
So, what would be your best move?
When things are screwed between you and your boss, analyze the situation very carefully and try to humbly admit who is on the wrong or erring side.
If you realized that you made the terrible mistake, plan to make amends. Never burn bridges because your boss is the only way in and out of your occupation.
Professionalism would prevent your boss from firing you just because of that one instance or episode. However, the situation still depends on the gravity of your offense and the way you handled the disagreement.
If only heated words were exchanged, there is still a chance. Just make sure that you learn your lesson well. The next time a similar event occurs, make sure you have complete control on your self and never utter profane words to your boss again.
If more than just heated words were exchanged (such as the involvement of physical violence), chances are you already lost your job and you should start looking for a new one!
Making amends and admission of guilt are gestures of humility. Doing so would effectively save your face.
For sure, your boss got angry at your attitude and behavior, but this is already a given. Bosses are human too. They are also prone to impulsive reactions. The difference is that they are tasked with greater and even grave responsibilities.
Make amends by admitting your guilt or saying that you are sorry. Never burn bridges with your boss because as mentioned earlier, your boss decides if you are still in or out of the department. If saying sorry is never enough, try to give him or her little tokens.
If you decide to voluntarily leave the office, it is good to have a good closure by making peace with your boss. He could still help you by giving a referral, which you will need for your next job application, don't you think?
~ Jeff ~
Relationships 101
5 Steps To Improving Communication
"Communication is the lifeline of relationships. The health of any relationship is determined by the quality of the conversations between or among the people involved." S. DeKoven Ph.D
Like the heart in the human body, I believe that communication in relationships connect all the vital elements and sustains the life of relationships. If you don't talk and share your feelings, thoughts, ideas etc, unfortunately we were not born mind readers so we won't know what the other is thinking. Then if we don't know, how can we react properly?
Anyway, here are the 5 steps I promised.
Start With Desire
Yeah, I know, you're thinking "I already know what you're gonna say" so, I'll say it anyhow.
You will never improve your communication skills or the way you share with your partner if you don't begin with the desire to improve it. For example: If your car is dirty and you are comfortable with how it looks and don't think it needs cleaning, then regardless of what anyone says or how they feel about it, you probably won't do anything to change it.
So, if you are going to ever change or improve the way you talk and share in your relationships, then you must want to improve. Without that desire, nothing else will matter.
Learn To Listen
Do you know how most people listen to each other, especially couples?
Well, they often sit while the other person is talking waiting for a space to jump into the conversation to defend their actions, explain themselves, or explode in anger. Sometimes the problems that arise in relationships is caused by couples that rarely listen to each other.
You should listen actively and emphatically to what your partner is trying to express to you. What is she/he saying by his/her facial expressions, body language? etc. What type of feelings about this subject is he/she trying to convey? Learn to listen to more that just his/her words since we all can't often express what we're really trying to say in words alone.
Don't Assume
We often assume that we understand what our partner is trying to say and our assumptions can be dead wrong. What's worse is when we don't understand and won't ask for clarification but leave the conversation assuming that we know what was said.
Let's look at another example: Mary knocks on James' door and he opens it wearing a colorful t-shirt so she says "Wow, that's an interesting shirt you're wearing." Now James assumes mary doesn't like his shirt and angrily snaps back "I don't need your opinion or approval on what I wear." Mary sees where this is going and quickly says, "I'm sorry James, I didn't mean you shirt was ugly, what I meant was that it's a design I've never seen before and thought it was unique. I only wanted to know where I could get one like it."
Now, see how easily we could get into a fight by assuming we understand what we thought we heard? So,don't assume. Let the speaker clafify what they said if you didn't understand.
Study Words
No, I don't mean go out and buy a dictionary to study, I meant the words your partner uses to explain or relate his/her feelings to you. You're in this relationship with him/her right?, so invest some time learning what he/she means when they say certain things. Remember, the same words can mean different things to different people so it's important that you understand what different words mean to your partner.
For example: A man might say "we're in a casual relationship" and mean I'm not committed to you but just checking my options for a stable partner; To a woman that same thing might mean, we're seeing each other and are committed but are not ready for marriage as yet.
So, this is your partner, take the time to study what he/she means by saying certain things for this will make your sharing experience much more pleasant.
Response Patterns
What the hell are you talking about???
Hold on, just keep your shirt on, I'll explain.
You see it is known that our basic coping patterns is that when certain situations arise we either fight or run; it is known as the fight or flight pattern. Well, there are some subjects that trigger these same reactions in your partner for any number of reason, so, you should be aware of these triggers.
Sometimes in sharing you might bring up topics or feelings that scare your partner and put them into a flight situation where they close-up and evade sharing or it might be something that touches a painful memory and out them into a defensive mode, you need to learn how to either carefully back off or gently probe for answers.
Anyway, learning how your partner responds to certain things while communicating with them will not only cause them to become more comfortable sharing with you, but may also open close door in your relationship.
~ Conrad ~
Quote of the Week
"Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility." ~ Oprah Winfrey ~
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