"Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine - [your] values and goals - Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want!"
~ Marsha Sinetar ~
If you take a moment and really think about this statement, it provides a fresh perspective. What one person perceives as a challenge or "down" might be perceived as an opportunity or "up" by another person. That doesn't make one person right or the other person wrong, but it demonstrates that we are each unique individuals with unique values and goals. What makes me happy may be quite different from what makes you happy. Each "up and down" provides us "the window to determine our values and goals" and discover what we desire in our life.
One approach I have found very helpful in building the ideal life (and self-discovery in general) is the process of elimination. It isn't always easy to uncover what would make us happy. We might think we know, but often we get to that place and discover what we thought we needed, isn't really the "key" to our happiness. Sometimes it is easier to observe what doesn't make us happy. By keeping a list of what answers "don't work" for us, we become like an inventor for our life. Each combination that doesn't work, lead us closer to finding the combination that will
Your turn:
Instead of allowing your moods and energy to flow with "ups and downs," take a step back and observe each up and down as an opportunity to learn more about inventing the life you desire.
Your affirmation:
"Each day is filled with opportunities to expand, refine and improve my life direction!"
***
Life Improvement Tips
Do you live the Life you LOVE?
I would like to share this particular article with all the ones that have dreams but "didn't get around" to realize them.
If not now - when then?
We always think "later". What if that "later" never comes?
I remember my visions and dreams when I was a little girl. I wanted to become that figure skating coach in the 'kiss and cry corner' on TV. Having talented skaters participating at Worlds and Olympics, and work with Pro Hockey Players. Everybody around me had pitty with me for having "these kind" of dreams that would be always be what they were at that time - just simple dreams.
A few years later, I was interviewed because one of my skaters made it to the Worlds and Olympics, and for many years after that, I worked with World Athletes and Pro Hockey Players.
Suddenly, the possibilities were open to me, and I started to "toy around" with the thought that I would like to work at the Training Center in Canada where Elvis Stojko and all the other famous skaters from all over the World were practicing.
Guess where I ended up? Yes, exactly where I wanted to be.
After almost two decades traveling and having the most amazing experiences, I planed to settle and dedicate more time to inspire people.
My ultimate dream was to move to the USA, which, at that moment, seemed to be impossible. Coming from a neutral Country like Switzerland, they don't easily give you a permit.
Well, last thing I checked today on my mail was that my address is located in Virginia - the USA - since almost 10 years!
Did I make this way simply by having dreams? Dreams were the beginning. But it did take me some initiatives, courage and actions to get where I am today.
I'm a living proof! You can achieve whatever you want if you have a vision and you take step-by-step (even if they are little!) to bring you closer to where you want to be.
I encourage you: Don't be one of these who has regrets and thinks "what if" or "if only" - be a doer - take action - fulfill your dreams and create the life you LOVE!
If I did it - you can do it, too!!!
Please share stories of exeptional people (maybe even your own success story) with my Readers! I would love to publish them on my Blog!
***
Quote of the Week
"I believe life is a series of near misses. A lot of what we
ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It's seizing the day and
accepting responsibility for your future. It's seeing what
other people don't see And pursuing that vision!"
~ Howard Schultz: CEO of Starbucks ~
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Motivational Newsletter 2/25/09
"Pay attention to what's good about your life. Rather than worrying about what you don't have, Seek to make the best of all the good things you do have. There are a lot of things right with your life. Give your attention to them and they will grow!"
~ Ralph S. Marston, Jr.~
It helps us to remember that we have so many blessings and things right with our lives - and by focusing on those things, paying attention to them, helps keep our few minor and some huge disappointments or struggles in proper proportion. It helps us keep perspective. When we focus on "the good," when we actively maintain our gratitude journals, when we greet the day with expectation, we attract and nourish the good in our lives. Likewise, when we focus on the bad, when we maintain lists filled with stressors and greet each day with trepidation, we nourish the negative in our lives.
You are the gardener of your life. What crop will you choose to nourish?
Your turn:
Print a copy of this quote and post it where your family will see it often. Create a gratitude journal as a family, encouraging each member to list a few things they are grateful for each day (or make this part of the dinner routine).
Print a copy of this quote and post it where your family will see it often. Create a gratitude journal as a family, encouraging each member to list a few things they are grateful for each day (or make this part of the dinner routine).
Your affirmation:
"I nourish the positive in my life, with both thought and action!"
2.25.09 Today I am grateful for ___________________ .
As I write the above line, I wonder, "What is my answer?" My first thought is, "I am grateful for today." Then I realize there are so many people, places and things for which I am grateful.
Everyday the list grows. Everyday there are things that happen to us, and for us, that make us grateful. Sometimes, we even find, that after the passage of time, we become grateful. Take time today, tomorrow, and the next day to think about for what or whom you are grateful. Then write it down in your journal.
Or maybe send a letter or a card, with dates and experiences to that person.
You can start keeping a journal where you date and write in daily, weekly, or monthly about what you are grateful for, why and the circumstances that created the gratitude.
Everyday the list grows. Everyday there are things that happen to us, and for us, that make us grateful. Sometimes, we even find, that after the passage of time, we become grateful. Take time today, tomorrow, and the next day to think about for what or whom you are grateful. Then write it down in your journal.
Or maybe send a letter or a card, with dates and experiences to that person.
You can start keeping a journal where you date and write in daily, weekly, or monthly about what you are grateful for, why and the circumstances that created the gratitude.
This becomes a story and record of your feelings and warm experiences of what you have given, and also what you have received. You can also create individual gratitude journals for your spouse, your children, parents, a friend, etc., that you journal in for a period of time.
You can write about them sharing what you are grateful for about them. Get a new journal to use for this purpose only. Pick a colored pen or several colors. You can express your feelings with certain colors, green for a growth memory, blue for peaceful times, you decide what each color means and note that in the front of the journal.
Date each entry and describe events, memories, or thoughts that you have about that person.
Describe what they have given you, what you have observed, what you wish for them. Tell them about how grateful you are for them in your life, and why. This becomes a treasured keepsake and a priceless gift. Telling someone you are grateful for them in your life, for what they have done, for who they are is a very powerful expression of caring and love.
Telling a stranger who has given you something, directions, good service, a smile, that you are grateful for what they have done and given you is another form of connection.
Spread the idea of gratitude. You may see something on TV or read about someone. Send them an email or letter of appreciation for who they are, what they stand for, or for what they have done.
Today I am grateful for ___________________ fill-in this blank with what your are grateful for.
For Example - My self, my children, family, work, future, my recovery, etc. As I was thinking about what I am grateful for, I of course thought of my some of my clients. So, I decided to email and ask what they were grateful for. I asked them if I could also share their responses with you, and here they are:
"Today I am grateful that I get to spend time with my children."
Today I am grateful for ___________________ fill-in this blank with what your are grateful for.
For Example - My self, my children, family, work, future, my recovery, etc. As I was thinking about what I am grateful for, I of course thought of my some of my clients. So, I decided to email and ask what they were grateful for. I asked them if I could also share their responses with you, and here they are:
"Today I am grateful that I get to spend time with my children."
"Today I am thankful for a generous heart that loves to spill over to others - and is constantly replenished by my beautiful family."
"Today I am Grateful for the joy of friends. Today I am grateful for the light in the eyes of my friends. Today I am grateful for the roses in my garden. I am so very grateful I met you."
"Today I am grateful that I can continually forgive myself. I can forgive myself for judging myself harshly when things don't turn out just the way I was attached to them turning out. I can forgive myself when I am disappointed that I didn't speak up and say exactly how I felt about a situation. I can forgive myself because when I did speak up, it didn't come out of my mouth the way my mind thought it would. All in all, I am very grateful that I am me. I wouldn't want to be anyone else in the whole world - and that's gratitude!"
"Today I am grateful for a wife, 4 children and a daughter-in-law who are all working hard to find out what it is their Savior would have them do in life and then do it."
"Today I am grateful for another experience of realizing that I am, indeed, safe and provided for."
"I am grateful for days, like today, when my gratitude gallops gleefully ahead of me and I have to skip to keep up with it, instead of haul it behind me like a wagon load of manure, hoping it will carry its own weight - by tomorrow."
"I am very grateful for the healing work that I do. I work long, hard hours, but I really enjoy helping people feel better. How many people can say that they love their work or feel that they are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing?"
"Today, I am grateful for a Loving God who nurtures me. I am grateful for my 89 year old Mother who has cared for me and is still vibrant, helpful, and alive. I am grateful for my Granddaughter Hayley who holds my hand, trusts me, and I know loves me somewhere in her very special heart. I am grateful for good health which sustains me. I am grateful for my friends and acquaintances who care about me and bring so much joy into my life. And, finally, I am grateful for libraries, and the Internet, and transportation which constantly open new vistas in my horizon and let me appreciate this vast world and its infinite knowledge and power available to all those who are curious enough and ambitious enough to embrace them."
"Today I am grateful for gentle friends, and a loving Heavenly Father."
"Today I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life who challenge me to think differently."
"The scent of freshly cut grass coming through my open windows."
"Today I am grateful for opening my eyes to see my husband on my side and my pug at my feet. I am grateful to look out my bedroom windows to see another day full of possibility as the sun slowly warms up my sweet backyard alive with quail, doves, hummingbirds, rabbits and all kinds of natures noises. I am grateful to feel my breath as it wanders through my body waking me up. I am grateful that I have one more day to enjoy, and be amazed, and be involved with life. And I am very grateful that I can go through another day full of awe and gratitude."
"Today, I am grateful for my life, health, and for my mother still being alive."
"I'm grateful for the support of many, many wonderful friends in the community."
What are you grateful for?
If you would like to share your phrases of gratitude, simply send an e-mail to nyman@consultant.com. Your phrases will be posted on the Newsletter Blog at:
http://nymannewsletter.blogspot.com/
What are you grateful for?
If you would like to share your phrases of gratitude, simply send an e-mail to nyman@consultant.com. Your phrases will be posted on the Newsletter Blog at:
http://nymannewsletter.blogspot.com/
***
Quote of the Week
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.!"
~ Albert Schweitzer ~
Motivational Newsletter 2/18/09
"When we can't access our inner resources, we come to the flawed conclusion that happiness and fulfillment come only from external events!"
~ Sarah Ban Breathnach ~
I don't know about you, but I have made this mistake before. I have spent time continually looking for happiness in the external. The problem with that search is that our happiness becomes co-dependent. Instead of having a well to draw on from within, we require external events to "lift us up." Not only is that unfair to the events or people we are relying upon, it is unfair to ourselves because the happiness we create is conditional!
We all deserve unconditional joy and happiness within our own heart. We deserve to have that sense of peace internally, regardless of what is happening around us. The intensity of that happiness might fluctuate with what our external world offers, but it is there nonetheless.
Sarah is very accurate in her assessment. When we can't (or choose not to) access our inner resources, is when we look to the external to "fill us up." Since we can't figure out how to create the reality we need, we turn to others and ask or expect them to do it for us.
To break out of that mold, we have to access our inner resources. We have to learn the skills to turn our questions inward instead of outward. We have to accept responsibility that happiness begins right where we are, not outside of where we are.
How do we do this? There are many things in life we can't or don't control, but we do control our attitude and our perceptions. After we accept that fact, we create a space in our life to access those inner resources. We create quiet time, reflection time. We engage in activities that promote self-awareness, self-discovery, and self-reflection. We feed our souls with positive affirmations and positive people. We turn away and don't accept the negative into our thoughts and perceptions.
We embrace that which nurtures us, we reject the rest.
Your turn:
Get out your calendar and schedule in a space for self-reflection and self-discovery. Choose to look inward versus outward in order to begin discovering lasting joy in your daily life!
Get out your calendar and schedule in a space for self-reflection and self-discovery. Choose to look inward versus outward in order to begin discovering lasting joy in your daily life!
Your affirmation:
"Within me is everything I need to experience lasting joy!"
Last night, before wrapping up my evening, I watched the last few singers of 'American Idol', and I was very touched by the story of one of the favorites - Danny Gokey.
Just one month before he audiotionned for the 'American Idol', he lost his beautiful wife Sophia Linnette.
Did he give up? No, in contrary, this tragedy made him so strong that he formed a Non-Profit Organization in the name of his wife ('Sophia's Heart') and presented himself at the audition for 'American Idol' where he currently seems to be one of the favorites.
I was so touched by his song 'Hero' (Mariah Carey) and the message Danny addressed at the end of his song.
He encouraged everyone to look inside and to discover their own hero - no matter what tragedy life lays in front of you!
Just one month before he audiotionned for the 'American Idol', he lost his beautiful wife Sophia Linnette.
Did he give up? No, in contrary, this tragedy made him so strong that he formed a Non-Profit Organization in the name of his wife ('Sophia's Heart') and presented himself at the audition for 'American Idol' where he currently seems to be one of the favorites.
I was so touched by his song 'Hero' (Mariah Carey) and the message Danny addressed at the end of his song.
He encouraged everyone to look inside and to discover their own hero - no matter what tragedy life lays in front of you!
***
'Hero' by Mariah Carey
There's a hero If you look inside your heart.
'Hero' by Mariah Carey
There's a hero If you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid Of what you are.
There's an answer If you reach into your soul,
And the sorrow that you know Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.
So when you feel like hope is gone:
Look inside you and be strong, And you'll finally see the truth,
That a hero lies in you.
It's a long road When you face the world alone.
No one reaches out a hand For you to hold.
You can find love If you search within yourself,
And the emptiness you felt Will disappear.
And then a hero comes along, With the strength to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth: That a hero lies in you!
Lord knows Dreams are hard to follow.
But don't let anyone Tear them away.
Hold on! There will be tomorrow.
In time, You'll find the way
And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive!
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth: That a hero lies in you!
***
Sometimes, we don't give us credit enough for the strength that really lies within you. Trust yourself more! Look always ahead of you and concentrate on what you want - don't dwell on the problem!
And as Mariah and Danny say:
There's a Hero inside YOU!
***
Sometimes, we don't give us credit enough for the strength that really lies within you. Trust yourself more! Look always ahead of you and concentrate on what you want - don't dwell on the problem!
And as Mariah and Danny say:
There's a Hero inside YOU!
***
Quote of the Week
"My future starts when I wake up every morning... Every day I find something creative to do with my life!"
~ Miles Davis ~
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Motivational Newsletter 2/11/09
"Courage is only an accumulation of small steps!"
~ George Konrad~
I thought this quote is a great reminder of what courage is and how we develop it. Many of us would like to feel more confident about our approach and about the steps that we take. Many of us would like to feel that when faced with adversity, we act in courageous ways. Many of us would like to feel that we have a strong "center" within that guides are actions. Konrad's quote offers the simple formula for developing courage. Courage is within reach for all of us.
We build courage not by taking risks, but by taking steps. As we take small steps forward in our lives, we build confidence. We master the art of taking the small step. Then we can take a little bigger step, and then a little bigger step. Courage is the art of moving forward instead of standing still in indecision.
Your turn:
What were you avoiding lately? I encourage you this week to take one situation in your life and take it to the next level by making a clear decision and following through with courage!
What were you avoiding lately? I encourage you this week to take one situation in your life and take it to the next level by making a clear decision and following through with courage!
Your affirmation:
"I am courageous. Each day I challenge myself to be my personal best!"
***
Life Improvement Tips
Life Changes Equals Increased Self Confidence
The path to self-confidence can be complicated and involved. While it may be possible to become more confident with a few small changes in how you think, in many cases, you're going to have to delve a little deeper and make larger changes in your life to achieve greater confidence.
One vital step to improving your self-confidence is to remove all the negative influences and naysayers from your life.
You will never gain a better view of yourself and your positive attributes if someone is constantly putting you down, making fun of you, making you do things you aren't proud of, or being abusive. If someone is actually abusive, remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
Get professional help if necessary. If someone is simply being unkind and uncaring, talking about it may help. Sit down with the other person and have an honest discussion with her about how you feel. Tell the other person how much it hurts you to hear her make derogatory comments about you. She may try to laugh it all off as a joke, but persist in saying that you are being serious about the issue. It may be difficult to let someone go if they have been your friend for years, or even worse, if you're married to them. In the end, though, your self-confidence is worth more than a broken relationship, isn't it?
Once you've removed others' negativity from your life, it's time to sit down and have a good look at your own negative thoughts.
Are you your own worst enemy?
Do you constantly tell yourself that you're not good enough, smart enough or pretty enough to accomplish your goals?
Do you compare yourself to impossible standards, like millionaires and movie stars?
Do you put yourself down for making even the simplest mistakes?
Do you let nagging doubts keep you from doing something you really want to do?
Remove these defeatist thoughts from your mind for an instant confidence boost.
If your job is weighing down your self-confidence, then it may be time for a career change. If your problem is with your boss or the overall corporate climate, then you may just need to change jobs. If you dread coming to work because you hate the more fundamental aspects of your position like the job duties, it may be time to look into entering a completely different field.
If you feel like you can't leave your job because you don't have the necessary skills to find a new position, seriously consider the possibility of going back to school. Whether you need to earn a G.E.D. or an MBA, enrolling in classes will give you the skills you need to go farther in your career while also building your confidence.
Do you live within your means?
How much credit card debt you have may seem irrelevant to the issue of your self-confidence, but it's hard to feel confident when you're living paycheck to paycheck. Make a budget, see a credit counselor, take on a part-time job or whatever else you might need to do to escape from the looming shadow of money problems.
If your weight is making you feel less confident than you'd like, exercising is an obvious choice for change, along with introducing a sensible diet. Losing weight won't instantly lead to confidence if you're not otherwise happy about yourself, though, so make sure it's only one facet of your plan for change.
Exercising can build confidence through setting and achieving goals. Whether you want to lose a certain number of pounds, run a 10K race, or just make it up the stairs without feeling winded, when you reach that goal, you'll feel good about yourself. Extended exercising releases endorphins, biological chemicals that are known for producing the "runner's high." They simply make you feel good.
There are many roads to increased self-confidence, but all of them start with committing to some positive changes in your life.
Take an honest look at your life and take the first steps today!
Take an honest look at your life and take the first steps today!
***
Quote of the Week
"My future starts when I wake up every morning... Every day I find something creative to do with my life!"
~ Miles Davis ~
Monday, February 9, 2009
Motivational Newsletter 2/4/09
Thank you for visiting my 'Motivational Newsletter' Blog! Due to the high request, I put my Weekly Motivational Newsletter back on the Blog - just in case you missed one of my e-mails...
"Do or do not. There is no 'try'!"
~ Yoda ~
Let us spring into action, taking practical steps forward toward the personal goals we have set for ourselves this year. As I have been working in the goal group and with other challengers over the past couple of weeks, I have noticed how engrained the concept of "trying" is -- but how we don't speak in the affirmative with the same confidence. The truth is - most of us our great at setting goals - experts in fact. We've done it a thousand times. What we aren't so great at is reaching them. In order to influence reaching our goals, we have to follow Yoda's wisdom: we have to build a plan and DO!
Your affirmation:
"I do what it takes to reach my goals!"
Relationships 101
Please send your questions to Helena at: nyman@consultant.com
***
FREE * FREE * FREE
101 Relationship Tips E-Book!
To download your FREE 101 Relationship Tips E-Book, visit:
http://www.lulu.com/content/2772270
"Do or do not. There is no 'try'!"
~ Yoda ~
Your turn:
What practical steps will you take to reach your goals this year? Break it down into a weekly plan. Make the steps realistic, measurable and manageable. You can reach your goals in 2009 - but you must "DO."
What practical steps will you take to reach your goals this year? Break it down into a weekly plan. Make the steps realistic, measurable and manageable. You can reach your goals in 2009 - but you must "DO."
Your affirmation:
"I do what it takes to reach my goals!"
***
Life Improvement Tips
Start Living in Prime Time
Prime time is that period between 6 and 10 p.m. during which most of the general public watches television. Commercials in prime time are the most expensive, approaching over a million dollars per minute.
Your real success in life will take a quantum leap when you stop watching other people making money in their professions performing in prime time, and start living your own dreams and goals in prime time. Time is the ultimate equal opportunity employer. Time never stops to rest, never hesitates, never looks forward or backward.
Life's raw material spends itself in the now, this moment, which is why how you spend your time is far more important than all the material possessions you may own or positions you may obtain.
Positions change, possessions come and go, you can earn more money. You can renew your supply of many things, but like good health, that other most precious resource, time spent is gone forever.
Each yesterday, and all of them together, are beyond your control. Literally all the money in the world can't undo or redo a single act you performed. You cannot erase a single word you said. You can't add an "I love you," "I'm sorry", or "I forgive you", not even a "thank you" you forgot to say. Each human being in every hemisphere and time zone has precisely 168 hours a week to spend. And some of the most precious hours occur in prime time.
Consider this: most of your daytime hours are spent helping other people solve their problems. The little time you have in the evenings and on weekends is all you have to spend on yourself, on your own dreams and goals, and personal development.
Some thoughts to ponder:
· Have supper with your loved ones at least two to three times per week. It's the best time for casual conversation to listen to what those close to you feel is important in their lives. Mealtime is a time to dialogue.
· A television set is an appliance. It should be used, at most, for two hours at a time. It should be off, unless specific programs of interest are selected. It should not be used as a one-eyed baby sitter. For the most part, TV exposes us to negative role models.
· Instead of watching television why not read a good fiction or non-fiction book, write a letter, engage in a hobby or craft, call a friend or someone in need of encouragement on the phone, network on your computer, go out to an ethnic restaurant, a home show, an entrepreneurial show, a musical recital, a play, a fitness class, or cultural event. Take an art or photography class. Use prime time to live the kind of life others put on layaway.
Action Idea: If you and your family/friends watch TV, try not turning it on for one week. When you do watch TV, reduce by 50% the amount of time you spend watching it. Concentrate your evenings and free time engaged in hands on, real life experiences, you can touch, feel, smell and engage all your senses in. Instead of virtual reality, insist on the real thing.
~ Denis Waitley ~
***
Career Tips 101
Please send in Questions, Suggestions and Tips to nyman@consultant.com!
Confidentiality guaranteed!
Relationships 101
Please send your questions to Helena at: nyman@consultant.com
***
FREE * FREE * FREE
101 Relationship Tips E-Book!
To download your FREE 101 Relationship Tips E-Book, visit:
http://www.lulu.com/content/2772270
***
If you like my Newsletter, please encourage your friends and Co-Workers to sign up for it by visiting www.HelenaNyman.com. To sign up for my Executive News, visit: www.TheBalancedExecutive.com
If you like my Newsletter, please encourage your friends and Co-Workers to sign up for it by visiting www.HelenaNyman.com. To sign up for my Executive News, visit: www.TheBalancedExecutive.com
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Helena Nyman's Motivational Newsletter 3/26/08
"You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, and show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better, You're gonna find, yes you will, That you're beautiful as you feel!"
~Carole King~
How right Carole is! When we wake up, determined to show the world the love in our heart, we feel better. We also attract more positive things to us.
Your turn:
On the top of your to-do list for today, make a small heart. Whenever you see this heart, let it remind you to do as Carole suggests and "show the world all the love in your heart."
On the top of your to-do list for today, make a small heart. Whenever you see this heart, let it remind you to do as Carole suggests and "show the world all the love in your heart."
Your affirmation:
Today, I will show the world all the love in my heart.
By this time, most people have already forgotten or backtracked on their New Year's resolutions. Why? Because most people set dreamy goals without first assessing their current reality and deciding exactly what they need to change in their life in order to get where they want to go. There's a law in life that says, "No Clarity, No Change." It means that if you're not completely clear about where you are today, there's no way you'll ever change to get where you want to go.With that in mind, and with the dawn of the New Year now past us, I wanted to share with you what I call the "8 Transformation Truths." I often use these with my coaching clients, and I believe these Truths will help you set goals and take stock of your life. I call these statements "transformation truths" because, if internalized and acted upon, they can dramatically change your life. These transformation truths formed the psychological journey I took the main character on in my book "Life's Golden Ticket." Take time to read and consider these eight straightforward statements. Be honest. Think about tomorrow. Go from making New Year's resolutions to creating a new reality.
Transformation Truth #1: Either you are truly moving forward or you aren't.We were all born to move forward: to crawl, to walk, to run, to grow, to push ourselves diligently toward our destinies and dreams. Unfortunately, many of us have let our fears and the need for safety weigh us down. We've stopped taking the leaps and bounds and chances needed to get us closer to the life we desire. Tragically, too many of us have settled into jobs that lead nowhere, relationships that sink our spirits, and habits that hold us back. To prevent that or become more focused, ask yourself these simple questions on a regular basis: Have I been charging ahead in life, standing still, or falling behind? Am I truly moving forward toward my dreams, or am I simply conning myself into believing that I'm just "waiting for the right time to make my move"? What do I need to do today to boldly start moving forward?
Transformation Truth #2: Either you're doing work you truly enjoy or you aren't.Most of us know that our life's purpose is more than just a paycheck, and that a life of meaning is not limited to a life of means. Yet many of us suffer the self-imposed misery of doing unfulfilling work simply to make ends meet. Is what you are doing something that you whole-heartedly enjoy? Do you get happily lost in your work on a regular basis and feel like you're truly growing, contributing, and making a difference? If you cannot answer with a resounding "Yes!" to these questions, then you already know it's time for a change. It's time to face that and take action.
Transformation Truth #3: Either you are truly being yourself or you aren't.Each day we have a choice: Will I live authentically or adapt to the world around us? When we choose to be authentic, we show the world our raw, unpainted, genuine self. We act in accordance with our convictions, and we openly share our personality and passions with other people. Living like this makes us feel alive, connected, and "real." Unfortunately, many of us choose instead to adapt to the world the way a chameleon does, changing our true colors in order to blend in. Living like this makes us feel hollow and disconnected. It makes us avoid ourselves in the mirror and creates a repeating whimper in our minds: "Please stop acting this way; it's not the real you, and there's someone special in here waiting to be let out." How are you living your life -- are you showing the world who you really are, or are you putting on a facade in order to fit in and be accepted? Your answer probably says a lot about how you feel on a regular basis.
Transformation Truth #4: Either your relationships are truly supporting you or they aren't.The quality of our lives is shaped by the quality of our relationships. Indeed, the people in our lives who treat us with kindness, respect, honesty, and understanding have the ability to lift us to our highest heights. On the flip side, those who mistreat us, disrespect us, lie to us, neglect us, or abuse us often have the power to pull us down into the depths of despair. Think about the people surrounding you: your family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, romantic interest. Are any of these people holding you back from being your best? Are any of them making you feel small, stupid, unworthy, unloved, or uncared for? If so, who are they? Now the important part: Why in the world are you allowing these people in your life, and what are you doing right now to surround yourself with supportive and inspiring people?
Transformation Truth #5: Either you truly believe in yourself or you don't.It turns out that sometimes the most toxic relationship we ever get into is the one with ourselves. We beat ourselves up, call ourselves names, point out our faults, and question our own worthiness of love and happiness. On the other hand, our relationship with ourselves can be healthier and friendlier. We can take pride in our efforts and achievements, acknowledge our strengths, and reaffirm that we are worthy of a good life. So what kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Are the thoughts playing in your head hurtful or helpful? Are you lifting yourself or tearing yourself down, and what is the result in your life?
Transformation Truth #6: Either you're truly fit and vibrant or you're not. The diet industry booms this time of year, only to leave in its wake millions of unhealthy and unhappy people. Why? Because true health and vibrancy doesn't depend on food alone. We all know that, but most of us aren't as physically fit and vibrant as we want to be. Do you have as much energy as you'd like to have throughout the day? Are the food and proportions you're consuming helping you feel light and fueled, or heavy and wasted? Are you exercising several times a week? If you haven't felt truly alive in some time, it probably has more to do with your physical conditioning and the amount of food on your plate than on how busy you are or how much you have on your plate at work. Make today the day you rededicate yourself to living a fit, vibrant, and healthy life.
Transformation Truth #7: Either you're building wealth or you're depleting it. Most of us have a one-sided love affair with money -- we take and spend, but we don't give and save. The majority of us also believe that there's not enough abundance in the world, that we're only worth so much, and can only earn a given amount each year. Are you making as much money as you would like to right now? Why not? Are you adding enough value at work? Have you been differentiating yourself, coming up with new clients or products or services, seeking mentors who can help you climb higher? Are you putting more away than you spend? If not, why? We all know the advice: earn, spend little, save lots, plan for the long haul. This is a great time to check yourself -- and your checkbook. It's time to set some higher financial goals in your life -- so you can take care of yourself and others -- and to create a plan for a more profitable year.
Transformation Truth #8: Either you're truly stepping up or you're backing down.How are you facing life's challenges? Are you hiding under the sheets or seizing the day? Are you running away from your fears or charging at them head-on? Are you avoiding your problems or knocking them off one by one? Those that dramatically transform their lives refuse to shrink from anyone or anything. They choose to stand up and speak up in life even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do.
How about you?
Are you choosing to stand up or back down?
Are you making your presence known?
Have you shared your thoughts and feelings and declared what you want in life?
Have you fought for your dreams and done it consistently enough to create the life you've always wanted?
I hope these Truths help you assess where you are today and where you need to go. I also hope you always find the strength to face your life, to boldly walk up to the gates of possibility, ticket ready in hand, willing to claim the life you've always deserved.
***
Career Tips 101
Create Your Professional Success Stories - Part Three
To get started with your first success story, simply begin to brainstorm. Do not edit as you go. Just write your thoughts down on paper or type them up on your computer.
Think through each job you've held. This can include both professional positions and part-time jobs you held before you launched your career. If you have children, include motherhood as well since this is the hardest job on earth. Also feel free to incorporate any volunteer roles you've held.
Think through each job you've held. This can include both professional positions and part-time jobs you held before you launched your career. If you have children, include motherhood as well since this is the hardest job on earth. Also feel free to incorporate any volunteer roles you've held.
Here are some questions to get you started. Think about each job you've held and answer these questions to help get your thought process going:
What did I enjoy about this position?
What assignments did I like working on?
What assignments were easy for me to accomplish?
What projects gave me the most satisfaction?
When did I have the most fun at this job?
What types of projects elicited the most compliments from managersand clients?
What were my accomplishments at this position?
What results did I produce?
What outcomes did I affect during my time in this position?
What assignments did I like working on?
What assignments were easy for me to accomplish?
What projects gave me the most satisfaction?
When did I have the most fun at this job?
What types of projects elicited the most compliments from managersand clients?
What were my accomplishments at this position?
What results did I produce?
What outcomes did I affect during my time in this position?
***
Relationships 101
101 Relationship Tips (Part 3)
21. Make The Men Feel Good
For the man in your life, here are some recommendations for making him feel special:
Flirt with him in public places
Just once, leave the toilet lid up
Lavish him with compliments
Tell him how sexy he is
Act jealous once in awhile, even if you are not
Remind him that he is a wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies
Tell him how handsome you find him
22. Make The Women Feel Good
Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These recommendations might help:
Tell her how beautiful she is
Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
Just once, leave the toilet seat down
Tell her how much she means to you
Let her know that she is your best friend
Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
Let her know that you find her to be sexy
Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These recommendations might help:
Tell her how beautiful she is
Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
Just once, leave the toilet seat down
Tell her how much she means to you
Let her know that she is your best friend
Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
Let her know that you find her to be sexy
23. That Kiss
As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving, sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.
As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving, sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.
24. Be Kind To One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to "Do unto others -" Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person's situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to "Do unto others -" Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person's situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.
25. Special Hobby
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture. Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night away. This is a great way to make your relationship even stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture. Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night away. This is a great way to make your relationship even stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.
26. Listen - Really Listen
Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.
Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.
27. Be A Kid
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the Play Station, and play games.
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the Play Station, and play games.
28. All Decked Out
Although most people do not get dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will never forget.
Although most people do not get dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will never forget.
29. Showing Love
Although hearing the words, "I love you" is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished:
Rent his favorite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
When she gets out of the shower, hand her a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, "I Love You" on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over.
While she is out of town, wash her car and surprise her by picking her up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.
Take him out to lunch.
Have his favorite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper.
Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
Display your favorite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator.
Buy her a subscription to her favorite magazine.
Although hearing the words, "I love you" is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished:
Rent his favorite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
When she gets out of the shower, hand her a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, "I Love You" on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over.
While she is out of town, wash her car and surprise her by picking her up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.
Take him out to lunch.
Have his favorite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper.
Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
Display your favorite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator.
Buy her a subscription to her favorite magazine.
30. Split The Responsibility
Whether dating or married, weekends are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a special lunch or snacks. Perhaps one of you has company coming and the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really care by sacrificing your time.
Whether dating or married, weekends are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a special lunch or snacks. Perhaps one of you has company coming and the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really care by sacrificing your time.
Welcome to Helena Nyman's Newsletter 3/19/08
"Do more than exist: live.
Do more than touch: feel
Do more than look: observe
Do more than hear: listen
Do more than listen: understand
Do more than think: reflect
Do more that just talk: say something!"
Do more than touch: feel
Do more than look: observe
Do more than hear: listen
Do more than listen: understand
Do more than think: reflect
Do more that just talk: say something!"
~Author unknown~
What wonderful guidelines this quote offers for truly living our life! What else can I add?
Your turn:
Read this quote several times. Which lines "speak" to you most? Make a concerted effort to practice at least two of these philosophies today.
Your affirmation:
Choose whichever lines speak to you most and write them as an affirmation. Example: I reflect and speak with meaning. I listen intently. I look beyond the obvious and observe life.
Life Improvement Tips
Overwhelmed? How to Regain Your Balance
"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, 'I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway.' - Maya Angelou
Once in a while, life or career changes will just pull the rug right out from underneath you, even when you think you are glued down and wrapped up tightly. How do you find peace when life pulls a fast one?
You may be contemplating a huge career move, facing empty nest or divorce, or you may simply be overwhelmed by all of the things you wish you could do but can't because there is only one of you. I have a few suggestions for you:
First, take a deep breath. Literally, inhale deeply, then exhale deeply, right now. Do it as many times slowly as you need until you feel your heart rate slow down and your muscles begin to relax.
Accept that what is, is. Trying to deny circumstances only increases your anxiety. By facing what is really going on, you can begin to take steps to correct it. I once saw a victim of Hurricane Katrina on a television news program who said he had cried for two days about his loss and was all cried out. Now, he said, he was going to move forward and make decisions about today. So take a lesson from him; mourn your loss in the way that will help you release it, then look to the future and take action to make it brighter.
Talk. Enlist the help of friends, trusted colleagues, a coach, family, or whoever will listen and support you. Sometimes when you're confronting a tough change, the last thing you want to do is talk. But talking can be one of the most healing things you can do. Find someone you trust and tell them, "I'm going through a tough time right now and would like to talk with someone for a little while. I'm not looking for advice or a quick fix for the situation, just an objective listener. Would you mind being that person?"
Let nature refresh you. One of the things I enjoy most and that gives me the most immediate peace is to be outside feeling the wind blow. The windier, the better! Nature doesn't always provide that, but being outdoors, away from phones, handheld devices, and television and absorbing sunshine, clouds, fresh air, and whatever else nature provides that day will unfailingly get your mind off of whatever troubles may be with you, at least in that moment. Go for a walk, run through a field, ride a bike, or just sit in a lawn chair. The change in environment will shift your perspective and let you see things more objectively.
Laugh! It may seem like the last thing you can make yourself do, but laughing has been proven to offer all kinds of physical benefits. Spend time with a friend who always has a great sense of humor, rent a funny movie, or just see some humor in your circumstances. I remember when my grandfather was in a nursing home near the end of his life. It was not a bright situation, but what did he do? He made up humorous nicknames for the staff and the other residents (none were disrespectful). I was a child at the time, but to this day I remember some of those names and still laugh out loud, thinking of my sweet grandfather making the best of a hard situation.
Work with your hands. If your hands are busy, your mind won't have to be. It can be anything -- cooking, building something, painting, sewing, repairing something, etc. Occupying your hands will free your mind of its clutter, if even for a little while. Over time these mini mind-breaks will allow your energy to rebuild!
Remember that if you are overwhelmed, don't just wait it out and hope it will get better. The most important things you can do are to practice good self-care and get help where you need it.
~Gwen Jewett ~
***
Career Tips 101
Career Tips 101
Create Your Professional Success Stories - Part Two
Now its time for you to develop your success stories. At this point, you may be thinking: "But I don't have any success stories." To that I say: Hogwash! I know you do!
Every woman I coach through this process has feelings of self-doubt in the beginning. Each and every time, I help them develop strong, powerful stories that truly exemplify their greatest strengths and talents. If you are feeling some anxiety right now that is ok - your emotions are valid. Just remember, you are a legitimate professional with lots to offer and a track record of success to prove it.
Most women get stuck when its time to develop their success stories because they aren't sure what compelling contributions they've made. The main reason for this is because women tend to devalue their own contributions. For many, this is due to a combination of not wanting to brag and simply not knowing (or not owning) their gifts and talents.
Everyone has areas in which they excel. Too often, women overlook or devalue their greatest strengths. Since certain skills come to them so naturally, they assume everyone possesses these same gifts. The fact that a certain assignment may feel effortless to you does not negate the fact that it is a valuable skill. This exercise will help you identify your unique skill sets.
Step-by-Step Instructions
Develop conversational stories that paint a vivid word picture of your accomplishments. They should be short and concise and clearly highlight your role in the outcome.
To start, brainstorm a list of topics for your stories. Review each of your past jobs and write down your top accomplishments from each position. Use the above success story examples as inspiration.
You can also get ideas from:
Feedback you've received from clients, managers, colleagues, etc.
Praise you've received in your past performance reviews
Comments from audience members from your public speaking presentations
Information in your "Success File" - You do keep a Success File, right? (If not, see my book Thrive in Your Job for detailed instructions on how to keep a Success File.)
Each vignette should be a "before and after" story. Clearly show the cause and effect. Describe the original set of circumstances and how you contributed to improving the situation.
This week, gather information for your success stories. Next week, I'll show you how to start writing them!
Every woman I coach through this process has feelings of self-doubt in the beginning. Each and every time, I help them develop strong, powerful stories that truly exemplify their greatest strengths and talents. If you are feeling some anxiety right now that is ok - your emotions are valid. Just remember, you are a legitimate professional with lots to offer and a track record of success to prove it.
Most women get stuck when its time to develop their success stories because they aren't sure what compelling contributions they've made. The main reason for this is because women tend to devalue their own contributions. For many, this is due to a combination of not wanting to brag and simply not knowing (or not owning) their gifts and talents.
Everyone has areas in which they excel. Too often, women overlook or devalue their greatest strengths. Since certain skills come to them so naturally, they assume everyone possesses these same gifts. The fact that a certain assignment may feel effortless to you does not negate the fact that it is a valuable skill. This exercise will help you identify your unique skill sets.
Step-by-Step Instructions
Develop conversational stories that paint a vivid word picture of your accomplishments. They should be short and concise and clearly highlight your role in the outcome.
To start, brainstorm a list of topics for your stories. Review each of your past jobs and write down your top accomplishments from each position. Use the above success story examples as inspiration.
You can also get ideas from:
Feedback you've received from clients, managers, colleagues, etc.
Praise you've received in your past performance reviews
Comments from audience members from your public speaking presentations
Information in your "Success File" - You do keep a Success File, right? (If not, see my book Thrive in Your Job for detailed instructions on how to keep a Success File.)
Each vignette should be a "before and after" story. Clearly show the cause and effect. Describe the original set of circumstances and how you contributed to improving the situation.
This week, gather information for your success stories. Next week, I'll show you how to start writing them!
***
Relationships 101
101 Relationship Tips (Part 2)
Relationships 101
101 Relationship Tips (Part 2)
11. Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.
12. A Night Of Passion
Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.
13. Dinner Party
Start a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and inviting several of you and your mate's friends. Set up board games that everyone will enjoy, have some light and lively music playing, and plan to have a blast. Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to reduce stress. When stress is low, couples get along better. This is a wonderful way to interact with each other's friends as a couple.
14. Happy Birthday
As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated. Gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over. For your mate's next birthday, take some time to plan something very special. Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and appreciation. Every person, even adults, like attention and love to be appreciated. Whether a surprise party or not, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.
15. Secret Getaway
Plan a nice weekend getaway to some place off the beaten track where you can enjoy some privacy. A quaint cottage or charming bed and breakfast would be ideal choices. Scout out the area ahead of time and choose a few things that the two of you would like to do in the area but just be sure to leave plenty of time for you to enjoy some alone time. Order a nice bottle of wine or some hot cappuccino and relax in front of the fire! Make this a romantic weekend where you can rekindle your love.
16. Special Greeting
If your mate has to work late and you know he had a bad day, surprise him with a late-night gourmet meal. When you hear him arrive home, greet him in new, sexy lingerie, a warm kiss, and wonderful hot meal. After he picks himself up off the floor, he will fall in love with you all over again for this wonderful greeting. If reversed and the woman is coming home, after giving her a lingering kiss, have her join you in the dining room where the table is set with soft glowing candles and a wonderful meal. Have an envelope lying by her plate that when opened, she will read, "This certificate is good for one thirty-minute massage after dinner." This is how you keep romance alive!
17. Just Because
Give your mate gifts "just because." These do not have to be expensive whatsoever. For example, one woman had a miniature dish collection in her kitchen. Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her. Holding out her hand, he gently placed in her hand a miniature porcelain cup with her name neatly written in blue ink. She knew that this cup probably cost no more than $2.00 but the thought that he would take the time to find something she enjoyed, was worth $1 million. The small gifts packed with thought are far more cherished.
18. Say It With Words
Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places. If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase. Perhaps they have a long commute to work. If so, slip a note saying, "I love you," in their CD case where you know they will find it. Another recommendation is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing seen in the morning. Be creative and have some fun with this.
19. Cuddle Time
When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence. However, as the relationship progresses or after children enter the picture, the cuddling stops. Take some time just to cuddle. If your mate is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them that you just want to cuddle. This makes both people feel secure and loved.
20. Breakfast In Bed
When was the last time you or your mate were served breakfast in bed? Never? On a Saturday or Sunday, when nothing special is planned, get up a little early and fix their favorite breakfast. Include the morning newspaper as an added bonus. Although they may be shocked, you can be guaranteed that this gesture of love will be appreciated.
***
Quote of the Week
"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness."
~ George Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish-born American Philosopher~
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