Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Welcome to my Newsletter 2/20/08


"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."

~Anne Frank~



The fact that you reading this shows your commitment to improve your surroundings and improve the world around you. The best part about changing our lives, and the world for the better is that we don't have to wait until tomorrow to start. Today - many opportunities will come your way to make a difference.Will you seize them and take the opportunity to reach out to someone? To make someone smile or laugh instead of shrugging your shoulders? The magic of living is right here, right now. Seize the day.



Your turn:

Remind yourself constantly today to "make a difference." Keep a smile on your face; truly listen instead of just nodding your head; make eye contact--connect.
***
Your affirmation:

Today I seize every opportunity to improve my world




Readers share with Readers

A special 'Thank you!' to my friend Jackie Davis who wanted to share the following Quote with my Readers!

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.


Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

***

Life Improvement Tips

Creating Healthy Boundaries (Part 3)

Internal boundaries are a little more difficult to grasp, but they are every bit as important as physical boundaries. Internal boundaries help you distinguish yourself as a unique individual with unique thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires. Your internal boundaries set the tone for how others treat you.

If your internal boundaries are too permeable or too weak you will have a hard time distinguishing your needs and desires from other's needs and desires. You may feel responsible for other people's feelings and believe that they are responsible for your feelings. Relationships can then become enmeshed. Enmeshment is when a person in a relationship feels the need to think and feel the same way as the other person and thus, loses their unique identity.
Internal boundaries that are too rigid create great distance in relationships and interfere with intimacy. If you have rigid internal boundaries you likely have trouble getting close to anyone and may shut out those around you. You may appear cold and distant.

Healthy internal boundaries require that you take responsibility for your emotions, thoughts, and attitudes. You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings and they are not responsible for yours. If you have healthy boundaries, you know yourself well enough to understand your feelings, needs, desires, and emotions. You ask for what you need and defend yourself against those who attempt to violate your boundaries. You know how you want to be treated and you communicate that to others. You can adjust your boundaries based on the situation and what is right for you.

Now that you have a better understanding of external and internal boundaries, next week I will share 4 steps to help you create healthy boundaries.

~ Kirsten ~



Career Audit Part 3

Do you have a strategic career plan? Do you know where you want to be one year from now? How about 3, 5 and 10 years from now? Now is a great time of year to conduct a "career audit." A career audit is your opportunity to assess how your professional life is going. It allows you to identify what is going well and areas in which you'd like to adjustcourse.

Schedule a few minutes in your calendar to brainstorm what you desire more and less of in your professional life. You could do this during your commute time, while at the gym, etc. Do not judge what you write, even if you think it's off the wall. Let your brainstormed ideas sit for a few days. Return to them with a fresh perspective and complete your list.

As we continue to discuss 5 Key Questions for Creating Your 2008 Attraction Plan for Dating, today, we'll find out about an important time-saving tip. Below is yet another relationship question to ask yourself when strategically creating your 2008 Attraction Plan for Dating:
What would support you in achieving your dating and relationship goals for 2008?

For instance, would losing weight or having a makeover support you in feeling better about yourself so you would be more confident about going out and dating? Perhaps better time management would give you more time in your day to look for someone and for going out on dates. Taking up a new sport can put you in touch with new people to date. Last, by working with a relationship coach or a therapist, you can get the support and encouragement you may need from an impartial person to take action.
***
Quote of the Week
"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."

~ James Allen ~
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Welcome to my Newsletter 2/13/08


"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~



I often tell the significant others in my life - family and friends that I love them more today than yesterday and less than I shall tomorrow. I do not remember where I found that quote but for me it is an affirmation that my love will continue to grow, develop and expand each day. I thought that was so beautifully articulated. And what is Valentine's Day? It is a time when we articulate our feelings toward our loved ones. Often it is done through browsing for the perfect card, but why not take a moment today and write a special handwritten note? Then take it a step further and make an effort to verbally express and affirm your love!


Your Turn:

How often do you say "I love you," to those you love? Do the words roll off your tongue in routine, or are they said with heartfelt meaning? Think of ways you can articulate and share your feelings for those you love. Take a moment today to write a handwritten note and express your love to someone.

Your affirmation:


Little Stuart was a shy, little boy. One day he came home and told his mother that he wanted to make a Valentine for everyone in his class. Her heart sank. She thought, "I wish he wouldn't do that," because she had watched the children when they walked home from school. Her Stuart was always behind them. They laughed and hung on to each other and talked to each other. But Stuart was never included. Nevertheless, she decided she would go along with her son. So she purchased the paper and glue and crayons. For three weeks, night after night, Stuart painstakingly made 35 Valentines.
Valentine's Day dawned, and Stuart was beside himself with excitement. He carefully stacked them up, put them in a bag, and bolted out the door. His mother decided to bake him his favorite cookies and serve them nice and warm with a cool glass of milk when he came home from school. She just knew he would be disappointed and maybe that would ease the pain a little. It hurt her to think that he wouldn't get many Valentines - maybe none at all.
That afternoon she had the cookies and milk on the table. When she heard the children outside, she looked out the window. Sure enough, there they came, laughing and having the best time. And, as always, there was Stuart in the rear. He walked a little faster than usual. She fully expected him to burst into tears as soon as he got inside. His arms were empty, she noticed, and when the door opened she choked back the tears.
"Mommy has some cookies and milk for you," she said.
But he hardly heard her words. He just marched right on by, his face aglow, and all he could say was: "Not a one. Not a one."
Her heart sank.
And then he added, "I didn't forget a one, not a single one!"
This is Rex Barker reminding us to see the inner joy of a child giving something and to understand that true joy comes from giving and helping others, not by receiving.


A special 'Thank you!' to my friend Soja Boehm from Switzerland for sharing this unique story about the Friendship between a Crow and a Kitten.

To watch the video, click on the following link:

http://www.animalsspeak.org/viewtopic.php?t=257

Life Improvement Tips

Creating Healthy Boundaries (Part 2)


External boundaries are your physical limits. They help you protect your physical space and your body. Your external boundaries dictate how close you let others get to you, as well as, how you want to be touched and by whom. While external boundaries are not tangible, most people are aware of their physical boundaries when someone gets too close to them. Think back to a time when you were talking to someone who kept moving in closer and closer to you. At what point did you begin to feel uncomfortable? That is when your physical boundary was violated.
External boundaries also include the limits you set for your possessions. You may allow a close friend to borrow your car, but if a stranger asked to borrow your car you would say no. You have the right to set limits on who gets to use your belongings and how they are used.
Weak external boundaries make it difficult to understand where your physical space ends and another's begins. You may believe that others have the right to touch you anytime and in any way. Weak external boundaries may lead you to believe that what is yours is also everyone else's.

Rigid external boundaries prevent you from getting physically close to anyone. You may feel uncomfortable hugging or touching anyone, including your family. Rigid external boundaries can help keep out unwanted and harmful physical contact; unfortunately, you also miss out on the pleasure of healthy contact.

Healthy external boundaries are durable yet yielding. You control the space that you need. You adjust your boundaries as needed; letting friends and family in closer than strangers. When you have healthy external boundaries you understand that it is always your right to choose how, when, and by whom you will be touched. You will defend your space and your body if someone violates your boundaries. You also understand that you have the right to decide who can use your possessions and how they will be used.
Next week we will look at internal boundaries.
Create a great week!

Career Tips

Career Audit Part 2

Do you have a strategic career plan? Do you know where you want to be one year from now? How about 3, 5 and 10 years from now? Now is a great time of year to conduct a "career audit." A career audit is your opportunity to assess how your professional life is going. It allows you to identify what is going well and areas in which you'd like to adjustcourse.
To the next step in your career audit is to decide what elements of your career could be improved and what you'd like to change.

Specifically, write down the following:

Three things you want *more* of in your current your job- and -Three things you want *less* of in your current your job

For example:

In your current job, you may want more:
* Challenging assignments* Feedback from your boss* Time off
On the flip side, you may want less:
* Conflict with a certain person* Miscommunication within your team* Overtime and late hours

Feel free to add more things at any time and get clear what YOU REALLY WANT!



Relationships 101

For Singles (Part 2)

Continuing our Five Questions For Creating Your 2008 Attraction Plan for Dating, our next question is:
What are your dating or relationship goals for 2008? (3 months/ 6 months/ 1 year)
Goals need to be written down to make them attainable. I suggest you post your goals at a place you see at least once a day. I post my goals on the bathroom mirror. For instance, an example of goals written down is "in 3 months time I will be dating someone steadily, lose 10 pounds, and work as a volunteer once a month". As a relationship coach, some of my clients have told me they put their goals on their computer- or in their Blackberry.
Until the next time, when we'll continue our discussion on the Five Key Questions for Creating Your 2008 Attraction Plan for Dating.

New!!! New!!! New!!!
Cupid Newsletter for Singles

Articles * Singles Events * Stories, etc

To sign up, send a blank e-mail to:
nyman@consultant.com and write "Cupid" in the Subject Line!


Valentine's Day would not be complete without Cupid, the most recognized symbol of love. Nope, we are not talking about one of Santa's reindeer. We are speaking of Cupid, the God of Love. It is said that if Cupid shoots his arrow of love and hits you, that you will fall helplessly and madly in love with the next person you meet.
In Roman mythology, Cupid is the son of Venus, the goddess of love. In greek mythology, he was known as Eros and was the son of Aphrodite.
According to Roman mythology, Cupid fell madly in love with Psyche despite his mothers jealousy over Psyche's beauty. While he married her, he also told her never to look at him. He visited her only at night. Her sisters convinced her to look at Cupid despite his warning. So she lit a lamp one night so she could see him. Cupid then left her.
Psyche wandered aimlessly for a time, searching in vain for Cupid. She happened upon the temple of Venus. Venus, looking to destroy her, gave Psyche a series of perilous tasks, each one more difficult and previous than than preceding one. Her final task was to deliver take a little box to the underworld and get some of the beauty of Proserpine. She was warned not to open the box. But again, curiosity overcame her and she opened the box. There was nothing in the box but deadly slumber. (Don't despair, this story has a happy ending!)
Cupid, who really loved Psyche all the while, came upon her lifeless body. He forgave Psyche and swept the deadly slumber back into the box. The gods then made Psyche a goddess.
At this point it is appropriate to say "and they all lived happily ever after". Oh, by the way, if he hits you with one of his arrows, you too will live happily ever after!
Note: There are many versions of the story of Cupid and Psyche. The basic theme is the same, but details of the myth vary.
Did you know? Cupid is sometimes shown blindfolded. Why?...Because love is blind!

Quote of the Week

"The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment."

~ Anthony Robbins ~




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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Welcome to my Newsletter 2/6/08

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances."

~ Bruce Barton (American Congressman, 1886-1967) ~


As you read today's quote what comes to mind? Do you have a strong belief in yourself? For many of us, the answer might be "no." Perhaps we have tried and failed one too many times--and our self-belief waivers. Perhaps we too often compare ourselves to others and instead of recognizing our unique value - we see only the missing pieces.

Here is the good news: That is your choice. And if that is your choice, then you have the ability to choose otherwise. Okay, so perhaps it sounds simpler than it is, but you are well on your way because this is the 3rd day you have opened your Good Morning e-mail.

The most effective way to develop self-belief (or self-confidence) is through taking action steps that demonstrate we are worthwhile. Reading this Good Morning and writing the affirmation (you are writing them, right?) is one great example.




Your Turn:


Make a list of 10 things that are wonderful about you. Keep this in a place you will see it often. Add to it regularly. (Side note: I don't create these exercise for fun - I have created them because they work. Are you working them?)




Your affirmation:



I am a wonderful person filled with one-of-a-kind
value, worth and love.





Readers share with Readers

A special 'Thank you!' to my friend Soja Boehm from Switzerland for sharing this unique story about the Friendship between a Crow and a Kitten.

To watch the video, click on the following link:

http://www.animalsspeak.org/viewtopic.php?t=257

*


Life Improvement Tips

Creating Healthy Boundaries (Part I)



Healthy personal boundaries are essential to healthy relationships. Unfortunately, many people have trouble establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries. This month we will explore boundaries.

Jane started a new job recently. She likes her co-workers and her job, but she is not sure about her boss. Pete, her new boss, has been gossiping about all of the people in the company. Pete has given her the rundown on all the co-workers including how his personal opinions about each one. He has even asked for Jane's advice on how to deal with one of Jane's co-workers. Jane feels very uncomfortable with Pete and she is not sure what to do.

Harry shared private information about his marital problems with Frank in confidence. Frank later shared this information with Joe. Joe asks Harry how he is doing with his marital difficulties. Harry is mad and feels betrayed.

Rose had a colleague, Bob, who occasionally put his hands on her shoulders when he was in her office. Rose felt uncomfortable with Bob's touch.

What do these stories have in common? All of them involve boundary violations. Pete was sharing inappropriate information with a supervisee. If Pete needs to discuss how to handle an employee, then he should seek out someone who is at the same level in the organization as he is. Frank violated a boundary by sharing private information with Joe. Bob violated Rose's boundaries by touching her without permission.

What are boundaries? Boundaries are what separate you from others. Boundaries provide emotional and physical space between you and others. They are the limits you set for how you want to be treated. They are invisible lines that you draw to define yourself and your space. Healthy boundaries help keep you safe, allow you to create intimate relationships, and promote integrity. You have both external and internal boundaries.

Next week we will explore external boundaries.

Create a great week!


~ Kirsten ~



Career Tips


Your Career Audit (Part One)



Do you have a strategic career plan? Do you know where you want to be one year from now? How about 3, 5 and 10 years from now? Now is a great time of year to conduct a "career audit." A career audit is your opportunity to assess how your professional life is going. It allows you to identify what is going well and areas in which you'd like to adjust course.

To begin your career audit, carefully assess your current job. This includes pinpointing what is going well and what you'd like to be even better. For the things that are going well, take time to pat yourself on the back for your successes. Write them out and keep them close at hand in your success file. (Keeping your accomplishments on file will help when it comes time for your annual review.)


~ Maret ~



Relationships 101

For Singles (Part 1)




5 Key Questions for Creating Your 2008 Attraction Plan for Dating

It's time for a new beginning, turning over a new leaf, and for renewing our hope of finding love this year. Now is the time to think about how you want 2008 to be for you. You get to create what you feel is possible for you. Here are some relationship questions and suggestions from your relationship coach to get you thinking about what you want to attract into your life this year.

How would you envision your life to look in January 2008, a year from now? What values and characteristics do you want your romantic partner to have?

Here, I am asking you to close your eyes and see your life a year from now. If you see it, then you can work toward your vision. Once you have visualized what you want, it's important to make it real by creating a picture of it or putting together a collage of what you want your life to look like and what qualities you want your romantic partner to embody.

For instance, when I was single, I made a picture (a very primitive one!) of a male and female stick figure dancing. This is my representation of what my boyfriend (eventual husband) and I would be doing. It turns out even though my husband didn't really dance, he was willing to learn! So my vision did turn into reality after all.

Next week, we'll continue our Key Questions For Creating Your 2008 Attraction Plan For Dating.
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Quote of the Week


"What you must dare is to be yourself."

~ Dag Hammarskjold ~


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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Welcome to my Newsletter 1/30/08


"What a beautiful name, {Insert Your Name Here}. {Insert Your Name Here}, you are fabulous. {Insert Your Name Here}, you are one of the most creative, talented people we know. {Insert Your Name Here}, lots of people love you. You are smart, beautiful and intelligent, {Insert Your Name Here}. {Insert Your Name Here}, we enjoy working with you."


How did it feel to start your day by reading that paragraph with your name in it? I found I had a smile on my face! Starting our day with affirmations and positive statements puts us in a positive mindset for the day ahead Recently I met with a group of women in Orlando. We were discussing how important the Good Morning service is to them and how they rely on it for a positive start. We were also discussing what to do with all of our favorite quotes. A few ideas I wanted to share:

1. Type up your favorite quotes or write them neatly. Take them to a copy shop and have them laminated or purchase self-laminating paper at an office store. Read through them each morning to get your day off to a great start. Pick on to carry with you daily.2. Consider putting your favorite quotes as wallpaper on your computer or a screen show so they change regularly throughout the day.


Your Turn:


Are you regularly using positive affirmations that "speak" to you? Start a quote collection to inspire and encourage you.


Your affirmation:


I take time to nurture and encourage myself with positive words.
Readers share with Readers

A special 'Thank you!' to my wonderful friend Jackie Davis from Richmond, VA for this inspirational story!


You Have Two Choices


Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply: "If I were any better, I would be twins!" Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. Why? Because Jerry was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day Jerry was always there telling him how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him. "I don't get it!" No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens I can choose to be victim or can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life." "But it's not always that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business. He left the back door of his restaurant open and then in the morning, he was robbed by three armed men. While Jerry was trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door, "Jerry replied. "Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren't you scared" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man." I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." "Yes, to bullets" I replied. Over their laughter I told them: I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead." Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours - that no one can control or take from you - is your attitude. So if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.


Life Improvement Tips

4 People To Avoid - Is It You?

Outrageous lifestyles of the very successful are envied by most of the world. Are you part of the envied? Or are you part of the envying? If you are living a successful life by your own standards, congratulations. If you haven't quite reached that level yet, then this article is for you. There are several characteristics that those who practice successful living possess. The characteristics listed below are NOT any of them. In fact, they are the opposite. See if you possess these characteristics and, if you do, my advice to you is - change.

The Dreadful Dud

The dreadful dud is the person who answers questions with one word. Any time there is anyone who wants to initiate a conversation with the Dreadful Dud, the conversation is dead before it gets started. These people are not mean or necessarily rude. They just don't believe they have much to contribute, so they cut it short as much as possible. Consequently, the conversations become fewer and fewer.
Eventually, the Dreadful Dud gets the reputation of the dull guy or girl. Or you might say he or she is a dud. Don't be a dud. Practice your natural personality. Did you know that you were created to enjoy life? Did you know that life is meant to be tasted? There are juices inside to be experienced. When was the last time you took a chance? Live life as it's something to be loved. Practice makes perfect. Practice passion. Practice charisma. It's who you really are.

The Social Soloist

The Social Soloist is the person who never begins to live and love life. This person finds him/herself at home, alone, on the couch, every night, watching silly reality programs. The Social Soloist finds purpose in who is going to have to eat the next set of buffalo testicles or who is going to be kicked off an island.
The irony of the whole thing is the Social Soloist is at home experiencing nothing while he/she watches those who are actually living and loving life. Does that make sense? Instead of trying to escape through the boob tube, get out and meet people. If you must start small, invite some people over to watch a decent movie. Eventually, it will develop into a social fun time and, who knows, it just may move out of the TV room.

The Pitiful Procrastinator

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. Ever hear that one? How ridiculous! Have you ever known anyone that lived by this motto? How frustrating! The Pitiful Procrastinator always finds him/herself stressed out and behind in life. Why? They keep putting it off! Everything is always put off until later. Nothing is ever done in time. And when it eventually gets done, it's shoddy and half-way completed. They just want to hurry up and get over with - whatever "it" is.
Laundry. Homework. Dishes. Meetings. Confrontation. Putting gas in the car. Changing Careers. You name it, it never gets done when it needs to get done. Life will pass the Pitiful Procrastinator by. And when it's too late to make up his/her mind, regret will take hold. Do not let regret arise and dominate your mind. Instead, take control of your mind right now. Make a freakin list and stick by it! Don't fall prey to the practice of the Pitiful Procrastinator. Remember, practice makes perfect.

The Unknown Optimist

These people have such positive energy they could suck the life out of the room if they were to make a phone call during a New Years Eve party. While everyone is having such a good time, making plans and looking forward to the future, the unknown optimist looks to the dark side. The unknown optimist looks to the dark side of everything. If you were to tell this person that he just one $1,000.000.00, he would say something like, "Great! Now I'm going to be in a higher tax bracket and have to pay more taxes."
The unknown optimist lives in a vacuum that you do not want to live in. It's the "everything sucks" vacuum. Take inventory of your overall attitude. Don't take the extreme opposite route either. If you go to the opposite extreme, you'll find yourself on the Pollyanna platform. A great place to be is in the realistic but optimistic middle. While you're there, be sure to live and love life.

~ Jeff ~



Relationships 101

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

One of the keys to obtaining a better life or living arrangement is to assess the quality of relationships that you surround yourself with. Do you surround yourself with loving relationships or unhealthy relationships? For someone that has a pattern or history with unhealthy relationships, the difference between the two may be difficult to decipher.
Healthy relationships are relationships that add to our well being, not subtract. They bring out the best of us by being supportive of our goals and our inner selves. Unhealthy relationships often cause us stress and subtract from our well being, often leaving us feeling depleted of energy.

Common symptoms of unhealthy relationships include sickness, stress, and a negative outlook of ourselves and our world around us. People who are accustomed to unhealthy relationships often stay cornered in situations like this because they do not recognize that there is another way of living. They might continue the unhealthy relationship indefinitely and never seek a better way of life for themselves or they may leave the unhealthy relationship, but not the pattern.
The life pattern is essentially the root of the problem. The pattern may have stemmed from family upbringing or any other form of influential relationship. The key is to recognize the behavior and identify where it is coming from.

A creative way to assess your patterns is to write it down. Take out a notebook that you know you will keep for years to come. Write down all the major relationships that you have had in your life. Your earliest form of relationship more than likely was a family member or someone acting in this form. Note how they showed you love. Then note how you reciprocated that love. Continue in a chronological order with any additional relationships you have had, i.e. friends, personal and love relationships.

Next make a column on your right hand side. Re-read your assessments in order, as you read through them determine whether they were healthy or unhealthy and mark it down in your right hand column. Having an overview of your relationships right before your eyes makes it easier to look at. You may actually bring issues to attention that you were not aware of before. For some this may even be a rather emotional exercise, but be reminded it is an exercise encouraging growth and healthy behavior.

Whatever your circumstance take time to assess your own involvements and choices with relationships. Do you always pick a controlling relationship? Or do you always pick a relationship where you are the enabler? Are you respecting your own boundaries while you are in a relationship or are they being sacrificed? Are you always compromising your time and energy to please another? Or are you always compromising your morals or beliefs? Are you maintaining a balance with yourself and other activities? Or are you focusing so much on the other person that you are not taking care of other obligations and priorities?

All of these questions will help you identify the quality of choices you are making when you are choosing relationships. Once you identify your pattern, you can no longer deny an unhealthy relationship. Awareness will make your own behavior and the unhealthy relationship even more difficult to tolerate.

Once you identify your patterns and bring it fourth into awareness, the next process is change. Granted the other party involved will not always agree or like the change that you are going to make, but you have to take action for yourself. In the long run you both will suffer if even one of you is unhappy.

How can we avoid unhealthy relationships? By learning to love and care for ourselves regardless of whether or not someone is in our lives. Once we identify our own needs we can easily work with others feelings without interfering with our own. When we establish a relationship with ourselves, we no longer have to have needy relationships. Instead we can re-teach ourselves to have giving relationships.

Follow your intuition. If something doesn t feel right to you with a relationship then pay attention to those feelings. They are there for a reason. Some people can grow together inside their relationships and some may have to grow apart. The key is to look at ourselves and our relationships in their truest light.

Know that each one of us is entitled to have a loving relationship or friendship. We are worthy of receiving love just as we are worthy of giving it. True partnership fills our cups with abundance, joy, and solidarity, a gift that multiplies within our hearts and our families .

~Heather~

Quote of the Week

"Every day holds the possibility of a miracle."

~ Elizabeth David ~
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